To heal... one must be hurt first...
Will reflect on this later.
Humaira... one fine BUSY Saturday
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Had a girls' nite out with you-know-who :) just now. Watched Hotel Rwanda.
I'm very disturbed. I just realised that i'm living in the world that's so selfish. I couldnt believe my eyes and ears when i watch that movie. People in Rwanda were screaming for help. Intervention! Intervention! But no help came. Why? Its just Rwanda..... and as quoted by the UN general from the movie, "You guys are not even niggers!"
Lets give those UN, US and the 'Superpower' nations some benefit of the doubts.. perhaps in 1994, the world citizen was just tired of another genocide. Maybe they were pre-occupied with other things like... (i dunno, i was just 12 then!)Perhaps they question the exaggeration that the media may showcase... Like the reporter from the movie said: "You think the world will help when they saw the massacre on tv? They'll just say "What a pity" and continue their dinner" How true.
I just wrote about how much help we can give to other community in my earlier entry. I stand firm on that. Its only too much we can offer. However, help MUST come. It shows that we're feeling the pain and suffering that the locals are facing- empathising. But still, there's a limit to what we can do.
Its late. And i'm very disturbed. Why?
1) 1 million people died in the period of 100 days in 1994.. and the world ignored it
2) Someone has a new shirt (from who???) urgh!
Humaira... disturbed
psst: When i walk backwards, it feels like i'm helping everyone else move forward faster
I'm very disturbed. I just realised that i'm living in the world that's so selfish. I couldnt believe my eyes and ears when i watch that movie. People in Rwanda were screaming for help. Intervention! Intervention! But no help came. Why? Its just Rwanda..... and as quoted by the UN general from the movie, "You guys are not even niggers!"
Lets give those UN, US and the 'Superpower' nations some benefit of the doubts.. perhaps in 1994, the world citizen was just tired of another genocide. Maybe they were pre-occupied with other things like... (i dunno, i was just 12 then!)Perhaps they question the exaggeration that the media may showcase... Like the reporter from the movie said: "You think the world will help when they saw the massacre on tv? They'll just say "What a pity" and continue their dinner" How true.
I just wrote about how much help we can give to other community in my earlier entry. I stand firm on that. Its only too much we can offer. However, help MUST come. It shows that we're feeling the pain and suffering that the locals are facing- empathising. But still, there's a limit to what we can do.
Its late. And i'm very disturbed. Why?
1) 1 million people died in the period of 100 days in 1994.. and the world ignored it
2) Someone has a new shirt (from who???) urgh!
Humaira... disturbed
psst: When i walk backwards, it feels like i'm helping everyone else move forward faster
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
In the midst of werking hour... but i need to write something.
Yesterday i heard the news about FMSA brothers n sisters going to Aceh for a weekend visit to do some basic assessment. I know for a fact that they're planning a long-term intervention for the children in the affected area. Initially... i wanted to go. But....
I've been receiving calls from members of the public (Malays, and Muslims i assume) about teenagers who're pregnant out of wedlock. That surprised me. I can safely say that i've been talking to distraught parents and teenagers themselves about that matter for at least once a day! That's a lot!!!!!! Those calls are not inclusive of those received by my colleagues and those referred by ROMM. What's the world becoming into??????
Putting two and two together, i realised that, there's still a lot of work NEED to be done here, locally. If we observe and listen to the experiences by those who've been to Aceh and Melabouh, the victims (children and adults alike) are often described as strong, and resilient. They seem to be able to pick up from where they left (and what's left) and move on. And knowing Acehnese culture, the youths there are also widely known to be morally secured and strong. InsyaAllah, they dun need another human being to hold their hand to survive... they only need Allah, as Allah is already in their hearts and minds.
How about youths in Singapore????? Can they survive if tragedy happens unto them? Are they THAT resilient??
Our youth community is being swiped away by a different type of tsunami. The tsunami of temptations... the tsunami of moral danger... and it keeps coming non-stop. How are they gonna survive? How many are helping? I wonder.....
I'm scared. I'm scared for myself. Scared that one day, perhaps, i might be swiped away... together with them... hanyut... I'm scared that i wont be able to save them.... able to only witness them drowned... with the rest... I'm scared that my family may be exposed to the danger.... I'm scared that MY children will have to grow up in that kind of environment where pre-marital sex is acceptable by the society... How can i prepare them? How can i control this?
I can't stop stressing that A LOT of help is needed by the youths in Singapore. Out of wedlock pregnancies is at the verge of becoming a norm among our community. I recall my conversation with one of the callers. An aunt, who's trying to help her niece who's pregnant. She mentioned a sentence which disturbs me: "Hello, Pusat Khidmat Keluarga? Ok lar.. saya tak perlu berselindung lagi lar eh.. lagi pon, ini dah macam perkara biasa kan? Macam gini.. anak sedara saya mengandung.. belum kahwin. Baru 18 tahun. Apa yang harus dia lakukan?"
My heart stopped for a while.
Solution at the moment... (wearing my Social Work cap): My role, hmmmm... OUR role is to help them help themselves by realising their strengths and resources available in their system. To facilitate an encouraging environment for them to continue and accelerate their development from teenagehood to adulthood. To prevent the same mistake from happening again, as well as to prevent possible divorce issues that MAY happen to these young couples. That's remedial solution - firefighting method. Its also important to develop youths from young. Start from school.... teach them simple social skills... teach them how to be a good friend.... teach them how to be a good son... teach them how to be good leaders... basically, teach them positive relationship building.
I think, these youths need good role models around them (dah macam cliche dah ni). Not the really OLD role models or those who are so far-fetched for them. Just a simple youth whom they can identify with. The kind of youth that kind exude positive spirit towards others. Youths need that.
I always think of myself as an at-risk youth (in my own way). I've done a lot of inappropriate things, and still doing it. I'm saved (kinda) by being with friends who are good, who REMIND me of goodness, of what's right and wrong. I change. And of course, i forgot, and 'delinquent', and i'm reminded again. That's part of growing up. We need people to remind ourselves. Wal 'Asr, Innal Insaana lafi Khusr. Illalla dziina aamanu, wa amilussaalihaat, wa tawa saubil haq (recommend people to the truths - al-ma'ruf, all kinds of good deeds), wa tawa saubis sabr...
Youths and children in Aceh are in good hands. They're able to stand up, and build up their own community. Holding their hands for too long means not believing that they're capable of being self-reliant. There's a limit in what we can do for other community. Too much help will only do much harm. Remember that!
We need ALL the resources to recommend OUR LOCAL youths to the truths.
To be a world ready youth also means to be a community conscious youth.
Think bout that!
Humaira..... firmly rooted, aspiring the World for local youths.
Yesterday i heard the news about FMSA brothers n sisters going to Aceh for a weekend visit to do some basic assessment. I know for a fact that they're planning a long-term intervention for the children in the affected area. Initially... i wanted to go. But....
I've been receiving calls from members of the public (Malays, and Muslims i assume) about teenagers who're pregnant out of wedlock. That surprised me. I can safely say that i've been talking to distraught parents and teenagers themselves about that matter for at least once a day! That's a lot!!!!!! Those calls are not inclusive of those received by my colleagues and those referred by ROMM. What's the world becoming into??????
Putting two and two together, i realised that, there's still a lot of work NEED to be done here, locally. If we observe and listen to the experiences by those who've been to Aceh and Melabouh, the victims (children and adults alike) are often described as strong, and resilient. They seem to be able to pick up from where they left (and what's left) and move on. And knowing Acehnese culture, the youths there are also widely known to be morally secured and strong. InsyaAllah, they dun need another human being to hold their hand to survive... they only need Allah, as Allah is already in their hearts and minds.
How about youths in Singapore????? Can they survive if tragedy happens unto them? Are they THAT resilient??
Our youth community is being swiped away by a different type of tsunami. The tsunami of temptations... the tsunami of moral danger... and it keeps coming non-stop. How are they gonna survive? How many are helping? I wonder.....
I'm scared. I'm scared for myself. Scared that one day, perhaps, i might be swiped away... together with them... hanyut... I'm scared that i wont be able to save them.... able to only witness them drowned... with the rest... I'm scared that my family may be exposed to the danger.... I'm scared that MY children will have to grow up in that kind of environment where pre-marital sex is acceptable by the society... How can i prepare them? How can i control this?
I can't stop stressing that A LOT of help is needed by the youths in Singapore. Out of wedlock pregnancies is at the verge of becoming a norm among our community. I recall my conversation with one of the callers. An aunt, who's trying to help her niece who's pregnant. She mentioned a sentence which disturbs me: "Hello, Pusat Khidmat Keluarga? Ok lar.. saya tak perlu berselindung lagi lar eh.. lagi pon, ini dah macam perkara biasa kan? Macam gini.. anak sedara saya mengandung.. belum kahwin. Baru 18 tahun. Apa yang harus dia lakukan?"
My heart stopped for a while.
Solution at the moment... (wearing my Social Work cap): My role, hmmmm... OUR role is to help them help themselves by realising their strengths and resources available in their system. To facilitate an encouraging environment for them to continue and accelerate their development from teenagehood to adulthood. To prevent the same mistake from happening again, as well as to prevent possible divorce issues that MAY happen to these young couples. That's remedial solution - firefighting method. Its also important to develop youths from young. Start from school.... teach them simple social skills... teach them how to be a good friend.... teach them how to be a good son... teach them how to be good leaders... basically, teach them positive relationship building.
I think, these youths need good role models around them (dah macam cliche dah ni). Not the really OLD role models or those who are so far-fetched for them. Just a simple youth whom they can identify with. The kind of youth that kind exude positive spirit towards others. Youths need that.
I always think of myself as an at-risk youth (in my own way). I've done a lot of inappropriate things, and still doing it. I'm saved (kinda) by being with friends who are good, who REMIND me of goodness, of what's right and wrong. I change. And of course, i forgot, and 'delinquent', and i'm reminded again. That's part of growing up. We need people to remind ourselves. Wal 'Asr, Innal Insaana lafi Khusr. Illalla dziina aamanu, wa amilussaalihaat, wa tawa saubil haq (recommend people to the truths - al-ma'ruf, all kinds of good deeds), wa tawa saubis sabr...
Youths and children in Aceh are in good hands. They're able to stand up, and build up their own community. Holding their hands for too long means not believing that they're capable of being self-reliant. There's a limit in what we can do for other community. Too much help will only do much harm. Remember that!
We need ALL the resources to recommend OUR LOCAL youths to the truths.
To be a world ready youth also means to be a community conscious youth.
Think bout that!
Humaira..... firmly rooted, aspiring the World for local youths.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your athritis is bad
All i wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you
I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
I'll need you
I'll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you....
Cair.. cair... Melt melt...
I'm a sucker when it comes to romantic flick...... call me a minah or a hopeless romantic.. i dun care. I know for sure, it helps me to haf some hope. Or at least fantasizing that those kinds of romantic men still exist in our society today. Watching those kind of movies (occasionally) also helps to remind me the important message in life.. that is... i still love Men.
Its so easy to hate men, especially when one works in this line. There's just so many real life examples that make me point all my five fingers to the men who make their family's lives so difficult. Hey! I have my fair share of bumping into those kinda men too... but, i still luv them nevertheless. My dad's not perfect. He made me worry sick, just because he refused to take his medicines. My brother's male ego is taller than him! His guts make me sick most of the time. I had a brush of 'not so successful' relationship with a guy whom i thought can control me, but failed to do so. Nevertheless... i appreciate these human flaws. Because they're human. And i hope, i'll still feel the same way after celebrating my 10th anniversary into this profession.
As i said earlier, its easy to hate men when you face with the bad 'male ambassador' everyday. You cant help but to form negative perception towards the general men, based on the characteristics that you're exposed to everyday. I've seen seniors (in other agencies tho') who talk about men as if they're bandits... created by Allah to make our lives more difficult. Ok, that's too extreme. Nevertheless, these people are 'trained' to be very skeptical towards the opposite gender that it kinda affects the rapport. I dun wanna be like them. I dun wanna be a feminist.
Women have their share of nonsense as well. We can be needy, non dependable, we talk non stop, we think too much.. and the list can go on.....
I can write more, but i wanna watch Black Hawk Down.
From fantasy, to the grim reality... sigh...
Humaira.... preparing to grow old
Carry you around when your athritis is bad
All i wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you
I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
I'll need you
I'll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you....
Cair.. cair... Melt melt...
I'm a sucker when it comes to romantic flick...... call me a minah or a hopeless romantic.. i dun care. I know for sure, it helps me to haf some hope. Or at least fantasizing that those kinds of romantic men still exist in our society today. Watching those kind of movies (occasionally) also helps to remind me the important message in life.. that is... i still love Men.
Its so easy to hate men, especially when one works in this line. There's just so many real life examples that make me point all my five fingers to the men who make their family's lives so difficult. Hey! I have my fair share of bumping into those kinda men too... but, i still luv them nevertheless. My dad's not perfect. He made me worry sick, just because he refused to take his medicines. My brother's male ego is taller than him! His guts make me sick most of the time. I had a brush of 'not so successful' relationship with a guy whom i thought can control me, but failed to do so. Nevertheless... i appreciate these human flaws. Because they're human. And i hope, i'll still feel the same way after celebrating my 10th anniversary into this profession.
As i said earlier, its easy to hate men when you face with the bad 'male ambassador' everyday. You cant help but to form negative perception towards the general men, based on the characteristics that you're exposed to everyday. I've seen seniors (in other agencies tho') who talk about men as if they're bandits... created by Allah to make our lives more difficult. Ok, that's too extreme. Nevertheless, these people are 'trained' to be very skeptical towards the opposite gender that it kinda affects the rapport. I dun wanna be like them. I dun wanna be a feminist.
Women have their share of nonsense as well. We can be needy, non dependable, we talk non stop, we think too much.. and the list can go on.....
I can write more, but i wanna watch Black Hawk Down.
From fantasy, to the grim reality... sigh...
Humaira.... preparing to grow old
Monday, February 07, 2005
Look at the Earth, so wide and long
Look at the sky, so high and tall
Look at the sun, so bright and strong
Look at the moon above so small
Who made the Earth so wide and long?
Who made the sky so high and tall?
Who made the sun so bright and strong?
Who made the moon above so small?
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah
Look at the nights and at the days
Look at the skies and at the seas
Look at the mountains and the leeways
Look at the plants and who made the trees?
Who made the nights? Who made the days?
Who made the skies and who made the seas?
Who made the mountains? Who made the leeways?
Who made the plants and who made the trees?
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah
Look at the lion so brave and strong
Look at the camel so crooked but nice
Look at the giraffe, its neck so long
Look at the tiger with its bold, bold stripes
Who made the lion so brave and strong?
Who made the camel so crooked but nice?
Who made the giraffe, its neck so long?
Who made the tiger with its bold, bold stripes
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah
This is the song we taught the level 1 students in DACC yesterday. The theme: Allah is our Creator, He creates everything that we see, smell and touch. The kids luv it. I remember singing this song when i was young. It's a classic Young Muslim Nursery rhymes. When i was younger (ard 7..), i enjoyed just the melody. But now... i began to really understand the lyrics. Its beautiful. Look at the animals and its characteristics. Who, on this earth, can figure out creating something with those characteristics??? Subhaanallah....
I'm sooo busy at werk! I'm gonna present a programme evaluation to MUIS this Friday! Arrrgghhh!! Pressure pressure!
Just now we played Life Monopoly! We borrowed the board game from Beyond FSC. It's actually used for Moneywise programme. The Boardgame is SIMILAR to monopoly, but more stressful. Its very lifelike. Cant really explain well in words. Lemme try...
1. Pick a profile card. On the card, there'll be descriptions of what you're supposed to be. I was an office assistant earning $1200 a month. I live in a purchased 3-room flat, taking care of 3 children. (hmmm... i wonder if i'm a single parent)
2. With me is my $1200 start up. (Must save save)
3. Roll the dice. On the board, you cant find Mrt stations, or estates or private housings. You'll find (a) chance - must pick 'chance' card, (b) lottery - must pay $20 and pick a play card. If you pick an Ace, you'll get the jackpot (c) Happy hour - Pay $15 (d) Sale! - must pick a 'sale' card, and you can choose whether u wanna buy or pass (e) Pay cigarettes, transport and expenses money (f) Pay rent (g) etc - cant remember
4. At the end of the board (there're only 30 boxes) you'll have to pay your monthly commitment (i.e hire purchase, bank loans, your children's swimming lessons, etc) and at the same time, get your salary.
All these sound familiar? You bet. Its LIFE!
As a social worker, i'm re-thinking whether i should re-make this board game and eliminate the Happy Hour and Lottery part. But Abang Lan made a very valid point. These are the choices in the real world. Anybody can choose to gamble when they're stuck, choose to drink when they're so depressed (example). Values are set aside. Perhaps, by playing this game with our clients, we can see and assess the set of values they have, how they make choices in life and how they handle with the worldly attraction. Point taken. MY CHALLENGE: To show them why these things are forbidden in our religion. How? Show them all these are a waste of MONEY!! hmmm.. that's all? lazy to think lar @ the moment.
Humaira..... the clerk assistance who drinks, gambles and smokes
Look at the sky, so high and tall
Look at the sun, so bright and strong
Look at the moon above so small
Who made the Earth so wide and long?
Who made the sky so high and tall?
Who made the sun so bright and strong?
Who made the moon above so small?
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah
Look at the nights and at the days
Look at the skies and at the seas
Look at the mountains and the leeways
Look at the plants and who made the trees?
Who made the nights? Who made the days?
Who made the skies and who made the seas?
Who made the mountains? Who made the leeways?
Who made the plants and who made the trees?
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah
Look at the lion so brave and strong
Look at the camel so crooked but nice
Look at the giraffe, its neck so long
Look at the tiger with its bold, bold stripes
Who made the lion so brave and strong?
Who made the camel so crooked but nice?
Who made the giraffe, its neck so long?
Who made the tiger with its bold, bold stripes
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, glory be to ALLAH
Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah, Subhanallah
This is the song we taught the level 1 students in DACC yesterday. The theme: Allah is our Creator, He creates everything that we see, smell and touch. The kids luv it. I remember singing this song when i was young. It's a classic Young Muslim Nursery rhymes. When i was younger (ard 7..), i enjoyed just the melody. But now... i began to really understand the lyrics. Its beautiful. Look at the animals and its characteristics. Who, on this earth, can figure out creating something with those characteristics??? Subhaanallah....
I'm sooo busy at werk! I'm gonna present a programme evaluation to MUIS this Friday! Arrrgghhh!! Pressure pressure!
Just now we played Life Monopoly! We borrowed the board game from Beyond FSC. It's actually used for Moneywise programme. The Boardgame is SIMILAR to monopoly, but more stressful. Its very lifelike. Cant really explain well in words. Lemme try...
1. Pick a profile card. On the card, there'll be descriptions of what you're supposed to be. I was an office assistant earning $1200 a month. I live in a purchased 3-room flat, taking care of 3 children. (hmmm... i wonder if i'm a single parent)
2. With me is my $1200 start up. (Must save save)
3. Roll the dice. On the board, you cant find Mrt stations, or estates or private housings. You'll find (a) chance - must pick 'chance' card, (b) lottery - must pay $20 and pick a play card. If you pick an Ace, you'll get the jackpot (c) Happy hour - Pay $15 (d) Sale! - must pick a 'sale' card, and you can choose whether u wanna buy or pass (e) Pay cigarettes, transport and expenses money (f) Pay rent (g) etc - cant remember
4. At the end of the board (there're only 30 boxes) you'll have to pay your monthly commitment (i.e hire purchase, bank loans, your children's swimming lessons, etc) and at the same time, get your salary.
All these sound familiar? You bet. Its LIFE!
As a social worker, i'm re-thinking whether i should re-make this board game and eliminate the Happy Hour and Lottery part. But Abang Lan made a very valid point. These are the choices in the real world. Anybody can choose to gamble when they're stuck, choose to drink when they're so depressed (example). Values are set aside. Perhaps, by playing this game with our clients, we can see and assess the set of values they have, how they make choices in life and how they handle with the worldly attraction. Point taken. MY CHALLENGE: To show them why these things are forbidden in our religion. How? Show them all these are a waste of MONEY!! hmmm.. that's all? lazy to think lar @ the moment.
Humaira..... the clerk assistance who drinks, gambles and smokes
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Its Saturday... but it seems like any other day.
Started work as usual at 9am. Took a cab n i reached just in time (heh...)
Initially.. i wasn't in the mood to work.. looking at all those recordings that need to be done, the MUIS Financial Assistance applications with endless requirements and those letters just waiting for me to write and post to the funders... I just have no mood.
The morning was spent analysing what had happened yesterday. Everyone was frustrated. I wish i could share and document the black history in the blog... but i dun think its right.. *sigh*
I can still document what i've learnt tho'... here goes:
Lesson #1: BE ETHICAL!! Especially when dealing with external organisation.
Lesson #2: BE HUMBLE!! It can get you to places
Lesson #3: If you're assigned to do something... do it! Dont kepo on other people's tasks. If u haf to kepo, just give feedback or suggestion. Dont act on it coz its not your responsibility.
Lesson #4: Be wary when dealing with certain organisation (especially *******)
Lesson #5: If you have bad working relationship with someone, just be careful the next time.
Enuff said.
Because of the morning dysfunctionality, i stayed back till 5.30 to finish my work. ALONE. I enjoyed the environment then... so quiet... scary sometimes... i blasted my Taufik and Blue to fill the silence. I managed to send one MUIS F.A, read the whole course on smoking cessation, organise my IN-Tray AND plan for volunteers' programme. Talk about productivity! I'm satisfied! =D
One thing significant made my day; my msn conversation with Zhul the lawyer. His nick was 'Pakcik Goh?', and i know where that comes from. It's on today's paper, Prof Yaacob named XPM Goh is like our Pakcik, while the current PM is our something.. (cant remember). I catch no ball leyyy!!! Tak paham!! Why is he the Malay's pakcik??? HUH?!?!?!?!
So, we talked about it for a while.. he shared bout MUIS's coming up with the 10 commandments... err... i mean... 10 characteristics of Singaporean Muslim (talk about a doctrine!) n how superficial it is. I kinda disagree with him. I think some of the muslims need that kind of detailed guidance and direction. It helps to explain to pple from other races and religion as well when talking about Muslims in Singapore. Zhul partially agreed, but he also think that that is not a priority. That, i couldnt disagree with him.
And so we moved on talking about the community.. and how to wake up their idea. I'm especially touched to know that my once-upon-a-time fellow undergrad is planning to volunteer some of his time and expertise to the community. I feel i'm not alone in this journey. I feel comforted. Then, i remember what a lecturer once told me.... in da'wah journey, its normal to feel lonely. However, one is NEVER alone. In some point of the road, you'll meet someone who has the same destination in mind. And you'll walk together. And the group will get bigger... insyaAllah... if no one gives up, and decided to settle down in the middle of the road... not aspiring to get to the destination... (deep seyyy malam-malam gini!)
Like a quote i extracted from NVPC magazine:
"[The perception of volunteerism] should be expanded to activism - feeling that you have a stack in your neighbourhood, your school, your home... so then, how do you establish that stake?" - Suzaina Abdul Kadir, Co-Chairman, North East Youth Parliament.
I wish more people will be activist.. walking towards the same destination. Feeling a bit lonely now...
humaira... lonely but never alone
Started work as usual at 9am. Took a cab n i reached just in time (heh...)
Initially.. i wasn't in the mood to work.. looking at all those recordings that need to be done, the MUIS Financial Assistance applications with endless requirements and those letters just waiting for me to write and post to the funders... I just have no mood.
The morning was spent analysing what had happened yesterday. Everyone was frustrated. I wish i could share and document the black history in the blog... but i dun think its right.. *sigh*
I can still document what i've learnt tho'... here goes:
Lesson #1: BE ETHICAL!! Especially when dealing with external organisation.
Lesson #2: BE HUMBLE!! It can get you to places
Lesson #3: If you're assigned to do something... do it! Dont kepo on other people's tasks. If u haf to kepo, just give feedback or suggestion. Dont act on it coz its not your responsibility.
Lesson #4: Be wary when dealing with certain organisation (especially *******)
Lesson #5: If you have bad working relationship with someone, just be careful the next time.
Enuff said.
Because of the morning dysfunctionality, i stayed back till 5.30 to finish my work. ALONE. I enjoyed the environment then... so quiet... scary sometimes... i blasted my Taufik and Blue to fill the silence. I managed to send one MUIS F.A, read the whole course on smoking cessation, organise my IN-Tray AND plan for volunteers' programme. Talk about productivity! I'm satisfied! =D
One thing significant made my day; my msn conversation with Zhul the lawyer. His nick was 'Pakcik Goh?', and i know where that comes from. It's on today's paper, Prof Yaacob named XPM Goh is like our Pakcik, while the current PM is our something.. (cant remember). I catch no ball leyyy!!! Tak paham!! Why is he the Malay's pakcik??? HUH?!?!?!?!
So, we talked about it for a while.. he shared bout MUIS's coming up with the 10 commandments... err... i mean... 10 characteristics of Singaporean Muslim (talk about a doctrine!) n how superficial it is. I kinda disagree with him. I think some of the muslims need that kind of detailed guidance and direction. It helps to explain to pple from other races and religion as well when talking about Muslims in Singapore. Zhul partially agreed, but he also think that that is not a priority. That, i couldnt disagree with him.
And so we moved on talking about the community.. and how to wake up their idea. I'm especially touched to know that my once-upon-a-time fellow undergrad is planning to volunteer some of his time and expertise to the community. I feel i'm not alone in this journey. I feel comforted. Then, i remember what a lecturer once told me.... in da'wah journey, its normal to feel lonely. However, one is NEVER alone. In some point of the road, you'll meet someone who has the same destination in mind. And you'll walk together. And the group will get bigger... insyaAllah... if no one gives up, and decided to settle down in the middle of the road... not aspiring to get to the destination... (deep seyyy malam-malam gini!)
Like a quote i extracted from NVPC magazine:
"[The perception of volunteerism] should be expanded to activism - feeling that you have a stack in your neighbourhood, your school, your home... so then, how do you establish that stake?" - Suzaina Abdul Kadir, Co-Chairman, North East Youth Parliament.
I wish more people will be activist.. walking towards the same destination. Feeling a bit lonely now...
humaira... lonely but never alone
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