Friday, October 27, 2006

How does one know if she is missing something in her life?

Aida and I went to a secondary school in the east yesterday when we met this charming school counselor. Married. Intelligent. Apparently, he was a teacher. Just took a 6-month course to specialise in counselling.

I wonder..... is it his calling to switch to a career which is deem as more meaningful?

As far as i know, most people switch their professional careers, such as those in the engineering field, banking industry and management, to something which is considered as more mild and more meaningful; touching others' lives via counselling. And most of these people are either in their mid-life (40s) or retiring.

All these people, including the charming school counselor, had experienced life outside the social service.

Social service is my first career. Casework and counselling is my first task.

Does this mean that i found fulfillment earlier than them? Or, am i scared enough to explore my other possibilities and jump into something which is most accessible?

Am I missing something? Will I be exempted or excluded from any important life lessons due to this career inertia?

Aida said, "Yeah! We miss money"

Smart answer.

I don't attempt to disagree.

The day progressed and I attended a Hari Raya makan-makan cum inaugural meeting.

The guestlist was exclusive. And i still wonder how my name could be there.

There i was, sitting comfortably in between the girls, cuddled up in the soft comfortable sofa, trying to make sense of their conversation. Perhaps i was late, hence my struggle.. Perhaps i was still boxed, in a certain system, trying to make sense based on the limited framework.

Basically, i felt boxed. Stucked.

Is this what i'm missing? the experience of being in a larger box?

Is this what life is? Defining the box we're in?

Then i realised.... it IS my decision, MY choice. And i chose to be in this box, maximise it, hence allow it to define me. I always have alternatives. I can choose to break the box (its gonna hurt a lot, myself and others), allowing myself the little hole of freedom. Or, i can just get out from the box and poke it from outside, making it my little hole of connectedness to the past framework.

At the moment, i stick to my decision. As i like how it defines me.

Stuck? Boxed?

I'll create the little hole of freedom.

Hence i have to get ready for some adventure of hurt, anger, disappointment and a whole lot of self-discovery.

Life is empowering.... to the extend that it is beyond our understanding.

Humaira