Focused Anxiety

Even if you need to be anxious of your deadlines and tasks, make them focused.
In other words, if you need to be anxious, at least ensure that the anxiey is focused

(haha!)

Geddit?

Something i learnt from SSTI's Outcome Management Course.

I remember debating about the Outcome Management system when i was in my final year in NUS. Back then, NCSS was just 'planning' to establish such system so as to manage the outcome of their fundings (or what they rather call it now... investments)

Now i realise how serious they were.

Outcome Management system talks about client's changing experience vs the 'bottomline' number.
It emphasises lessons learned, both by clients and workers.

We were right during the debate. The process has to be just as important as the numbers.

The system allows both to be reflected.

(Ok. I'm losing my readers now)

The point of blogging this up is to ponder upon the concept of muhasabah that we've learnt.

Imam Ghazali once mentioned about our meta-analysis ability and how it functions in our muhasabah.

The concept of muhasabah does not solely mean we reflect upon our behaviour at the end of an action.

Instead, we have to be able to meta-analytically reflect upon our behaviour while doing it.

Complicated?

According to Ghazali, that was the highest state of muhasabah (incorporating the concept of muraqabah (self monitoring) too, i think)

Very tasawwuf and sufistic.

Yet again... its knowledge.

Applying this concept on Outcome Management System, this process allows us to constantly review our work plan and performance.

So as to attain results and improvement. Just like Khalifah 'Umar said, we have to ensure our today is better than yesterday.

Very Islamic isnt it?

Have i told you how much i love this job?

Have i told you how much i discover my religion via this career?

You have no idea.

No one day is the same.

Had a crisis counselling with a teen today.. something new, as the teen is a volunteer.
Who refused to come home, and instead, came to the centre to seek refuge.

What does this tell us?
What has this taught me?

That we've done a good job such that she prefered coming to the centre rather than staying at home?

How would you feel when a mom said "since my daughter would rather go to you when she's in trouble, let her be. I'm just her mother"?

I feel, i might have done something wrong. I might have also done something good.

Mother realised her position is being challenged --> Mother motivated to win daughter --> Mother 'communicate' with daughter --> if doesnt work, mother seeks help.

At the end of the day... we have to DECIDE on how we look at things.
It is how we position our spectacles, and what kind of lenses we're wearing.

You may agree...
You're welcome to disagree.

Now now... meta-analysing my behaviour at the moment, i'm diagnosting myself as being a dissonant (which may lead to craziness if not curbed from now). Why? because, my action and my consciousness is not in harmony. How? as i blog, i am aware that i have 3 very important assignments to hand in, and yet, i'm allowing myself to be lured into doing 'lagha' (menial) works.

Meta-meta analysing my thoughts and behaviour at the moment: I am feeling very guilty, thus, i decide that i should press that fullstop button .

Humaira
forced by that one button