Due to re-construction, my school was transfered from the (current MINDS) building at Kembangan to the newly upgraded one at Jalan Sultan back in 1992. I was primary 4 then. And at the same time, we were progressed to the A.M session. The schooling system in madrasah is a bit different from those of normal government schools. We can't afford the space to allow alternate session to different levels. Ours work such that all of the lower primary students will attend the P.M session, and the upper primary up to the higher level will have to wake up early in the morning to attend classes. Hence, when you're 10 years old, waking up in the morning to go to school together with the seniors was such honour. I LOOK FORWARD to go to school!
A year later, everyone began to feel settled with the new building. Great infrastructure then. Cool auditorium with AIR-CON!! We, back in 1994, were greatly impressed. We stand tall during the assembly, not to sing the school anthem (we dont have any), but to read the daily prayers, feeling proud, and immensely blessed. That was me, 11 years old.
Being in all-girls school also mean that our socialization circle is limited to the single gender; the females. We admire one another, we love one another, we have crushes, we feel jealous with one another, there was definitely competitions, arguments, cat fights on who get to be that kakak's adik angkat first.... its normal. I dont think its anyway near lesbianism. We need to scrape through the surface and see the underlying needs beneath these actions. These are normal behaviour because it functions to satisfy developmental challenges. The type of challenge which exist in any growing teenagers; the yearn to be loved, known and acknowledged. In this context, rather than being acknowledged by boys, we yearn for acknowledgement from the female seniors whom we respect and admire. Hence, i conclude that this socialisation is unique, and at the same time, as healthy as those experienced in co-ed schools.
So, i experienced having crushes on the kakak-kakaks. Acknowledgement happened to be coincidentally blessed upon me that i dont have to yearn for it much. It happened when some sisters discovered that i kinda look like Art Fazil, hence thought that Art Fazil actually has a kid sister in the school. This kind of jeweled information couldnt be kept secret in a school 1.5-soccer-field wide and 3 levels high. Hypothesis ran wild, and if i had known how to pronounce 'media conference', i would do one for myself and announce that i have no wat-so-ever relation with a man name Art Fazil. I always wondered to myself what kind of name is that anyway? I didnt know how he looks like, really.... Those aside, i admit i enjoy the limelight (so kak 'mummy', there is no need to apologise, really. I should thank you instead for making my growing up years a bit easier. teehee). I remember blushing and constantly running and seeking refuge in the toilet whenever i was teased. Haha. (Hmm... i ran to the boys toilet. My favourite hang-up place in-between lessons)
Who was Art Fazil anyway? My only information of him was from my aunt, who was the producer of HMI (Hiburan Minggu Ini), an entertainment programme for the Malay audience. She mentioned about the station's new rule in banning artistes with long hair, and Art Fazil is one of them. I was quite impressed actually by his assertiveness in standing by his long mane. We're talking about free publicity to boost artiste's name by singing in the show. But he still declined. That spells a lot of character in him.
Oh... i always wonder how its like to have an elder brother anyway. Someone to protect me. To teach and guide me. To tell me things i can never find in books and google. To introduce me wisdom. To nurture me with experience. And to constantly remind me how life is beautiful when one puts the right mind into it. How amazing this will be.... and how wonderful if i can be such a person to another human being =D
Art Fazil continues to have impacts in my life. From allowing me to be acknowledged in tweenage years in school, to making me feel special in my love-struck TEENage life. His album was a constant reference source to the boys in my life to dedicate their 'love' to me with. I was swooned.. yeah... i admit. Merindu Kepastian was popular. And the song 'Nur', a very apt song title which also describe my intimate name only called by the closest human beings on earth; my family, aunts and uncles and cousins. 'Nur' never fails to lift me up and empowers me to exude such light and hope on others. 'Merindu Kepastian' allows ME to constantly have hope that, well, the song will be sung to me again.... some day... :)
I'm sure, this talented singer willl continue leaving his influence in my life, in some way or another.
And i am pleased to allow it.
Apa yang menceriakan bumi
Setiap hari setiap waktu pagi
Membuat wajah berseri
Bagaimana tumbuh-tumbuhan
Terus segar didalam kehijauan
Di dalam hutan dan taman
Nur... cahaya sakti
Di tengah kegelapan malam
Ketika bintang di langit berkerdip-kerdipan
Indah seri sang rembulan
Ketika insan kealpaan
Ketika kejahilan menutup kesedaran
Siapa petunjuk jalan
Nur... cahaya sakti
Nur adalah kuasa semulajadi
Nur adalah asal asli rohani
Nur tercipta dari azali
Nur... nur... nur...
--------------------------
Matters that cheer the world
Everyday every morning
enliven each faces.
How do plants
always fresh in the greeneries
in the forests and gardens
Nur... the magical light
In the middle of the dark night
when the stars in the sky shine
Beautiful is the moon
When human beings forget
when ignorance closes awareness
who guide the path?
Nur... the magical light
Nur is the natural power
Nur is the authentic spiritual root
Nur is created by The Creator
Nur... Nur... Nur....
Nur... the magical light
I look way much different now. They said its the eyes. Go figure lar.
Humaira
planning to get time off later.
Headache unbearable.
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