with hardship will always come ease

The beautiful story of Yusuf has so much to fill our lives.
A lesson in forgiveness and brotherhood we cannot compromise.
The power of patience and the fire of hope, must burn in the hearts of the wise.
The beautiful story of Yusuf has so much to fill our lives.

He wiped tears from his cheek with the smile on his face,
brushed the hair back from his daughter’s eyes
and as she finished her lesson and closed her Qur’an, it was clear then to recognize,
Allah only tests those who are loved.
His little girl climbed up onto his knees.
The words of Allah are clear to the world, “With hardship will always come ease.”

humaira
So much to learn from Yusuf

Another one... no Two...

Congratulations Sarah... for your new title, which you happily pronounced (or rather accepted) last Saturday, 14th April 2007. Mabruk my sahabah.... My do'a for you to be bestowed upon the strength to overcome new life phase with grace and patience. My love to you... always.

I cant help but to feel sad about not being there for Sarah on her special day. Dearest, hope you understand. When its my turn, i'll give you 2-months notice eh!

The idea of BEING the last one yet-to-be-married among my secondary school gal cliques starts creeping. I have friends' mothers making such analysis, friends realising it, and, of course, moi, knowing it all along. No, No... i shall not be swayed by the pressure. When its time, its time. I'm learning so much about life than to rush things... unless i'm sure as sure as it can get. I prefer mine to be...well done :)

Ok... i need to get back to work now. Will be fighting for time to spend on writing.

And oh! The Third Semester has commenced. Am in the crossroad of either continuing with the degree programme, or save money for masters @ ISTAC. I shall assess based on this semester.

Current 'Continuing-Degree' Decision Poll (based on the wisdom of others):
Ust Sukarti --> No
Mom --> Yes, but she said No after listening to Ust Sukarti's reasons
Brad --> No

Poll will end in June.
Anyone interested to join the poll, feel free to tag. Also state your reasons ya?



Humaira...
Still happily eating chocolate

Malcolm and Me

"Mankind's history has proved from one era to another that the true criterion of leadership is spiritual. Men are attracted by spirit. By power, men are forced. Love is engendered by spirit. By power, anxieties are created" ~ Malcolm 'Malik Asshabbaz' X

Malcolm X was born Malcolm Little, to a homemaker mother and an activist father. A born leader, Malcolm was articulate and naturally gifted, capable of self learning, and excelling in any matter he put his mind into (except for boxing =P)

An excellent inspirational life story of a leader who went through a journey of his own self-discovery. From pimping in the neighbourhood, to becoming a convict, to being addicted to drugs, to be the minister for Nation of Islam, to finally discovering the True Islam when he performed his Hajj in 1964. It was the same year Malcolm severed ties with his mentor, Elijah Mohd.

"I had experienced, for the first time, the Muslim teaching, " If you will take one step towards Allah - Allah will take two steps toward you" ' ~Hajj Malik Assabbaz

"Awareness came surging up in me - how deeply the religion of Islam had reached down into the mud to lift me up, to save me from being what i inevitably would have been; a dead criminal in a grave, or, if still alive, a flint-hard, bitter, thirty-seven-year-old convict in some penitentiary, or insane asylum.

But Allah had blessed me to learn about the religion of Islam, which had enabled me to lift myself up from the muck and the mire of this rotting world" ~ Malcolm X

A Western man who questioned the Western lifestyle (Empowered by the Whites). Another great advice from Mr Malcolm:

"You see, Islam is the only religion that gives both husband and wife a true understanding of what love is. The Western "love" concept, you take it apart, it really is lust. But love is disposition, behaviour, attitude, thoughts, likes, dislikes - these things make a beautiful woman, a beautiful wife. This is the beauty that never fades. You find in your Western civilisation that when a man's wife's physical beauty fails, she loses her attraction. But Islam teaches us to look into the woman, and teaches her to look into us"

When you're soo busy with life and the responsibilities tasked on you, some inspiration does a whole lot of difference. And choc fondue too =D




High on Sugar
High on Life

Literally,
humaira

New Members of the Family

Welcome my 2 new love of my life;

Spidey

Speedy

Not much different eh?

Its in the colour.

Little Spidey surprised us when she climbed up the cage. And little Speedy just cant get enough of the exercise wheel. She ran pretty fast too! These 4 months old hamsters are sooo smaaaallll!!!!!! Bought them from Vivo. After one day of MUCH thought =D

And Ja, i cant help but to 'snatch' that video from your blog to decorate mine. Its just soo irresistably cute. Kinda imagine if my Spidey n Speedy can sing, they'll sound like Tiger and Tanya of American Tail.... only that they're not mice, but hamsters (duhh!)

Humaira has Hamsters! (surprised?)
Humaira has Pets! (Surpriseddd??)



Thanks You Tube for the video
Thanks Mr Pumpkin for the excellent photos of the Hammies

Gri-di-ron gang???

I had difficulty pronouncing that title.

Its Grid-iron gang.

Whatever it means.

Same effect as the local gang names; ------------- still blank. I'm such a sucker at recalling names. Especially gang names despite the personal 'gangster' tutorials i've been having with my youth clients. So sorry i let you guys down. I'll try to make notes the next time.

While watching and being inspired by the movie Gridiron Gang, i couldnt help but to identify other formulaic inspirational stories and their similarities, such as the Remember The Titans, Coach Carter and The Longest Yard.

The similarities are:
a) Delinquents change and become better through sports (Football and basketball)
b) Most delinquents are black
c) Inspiring coaches
d) Games are used to learn teamwork and positive social support network
e) Delinquents are boys

Allow me to focus on point E.

Ever wonder why there arent many inspiring bad-girl-turn-good-girl movies?

a) No example
b) Girls are supposed to be easier. Portraying them wont be dramatic enuff for movies
c) All girls are made of Sugar, Spice and Everything Nice. So no need rehab, just make them realise how sweet they are naturally.

I believe girls play a different game of life than boys. Theirs are described as psychological games, which requires more emotional and intimate relationship. Honestly, i dun haf much success story to share and to reinforce my existing hypothesis. Engaging girls, are TOUGHER.

I also believe this is the consequence of the game played by the society; the girls-are-supposed-to-be-nice-and-we-have-to-pay-MORE-attention-to-the boys game. We are constantly surprised by the horrible things that girls commit, and we also secretly EXPECT or even ANTICIPATE the boys to behave worst. With this, we have 1001 strategies to address the boys, but less than 10 models of intervention for the girls.

How do we then, inspire the girls?

If we can satisfy the boys' testosterone via sports, hence increasing their perception of self-worth, what can we do on the girls to boost their, errmm... female hormones? Get DELICIOUS looking coach to be their role models?

I also wonder if the same model of intervention is applicable on the girls too. What should be the approach? coach to player r.ship? gerlfren to gerlfren? kakak to adik?

I think, the underlying formula that affect change in the lives of these youths are not merely the sports, the games, the trophy, etc. Its not about igniting the hormones either. Those are the initial attraction, i agree. But what makes them stay, and listen, and DECIDE to take charge of their life, is the powerful relationship they have with their coaches. They stay because of their coaches BELIEF in them more than they could imagine they can. It is the POSITIVE RELATIONSHIP formed by at least ONE adult in a young person's life.

America has Coach Carter, Coach Herman Boone (Remember the Titans) and Mr Sean Potter (Gridiron Gang). These are the real (or reflection of) people who believe in the youths' potential to be good and to be positive in life.

Who's going to believe in Singaporean Youths?

You dun need to be a coach, teacher, probation officer.

You just haf to BELIEVE.

And aspire to SEE change.

Put a full stop to juvenile crimes.

Come on people! Let us be big brother and big sister to the little ones.

Mentor! (hadza fi'il amr ya'ni)

humaira
inspired.

Its about the ummah. Its ALL about Him.

A Life is but a Play?

Kama Qal Shakespeare (translation: as mentioned by Shakespeare. Not in his own words though)

And agreed by Eric Burne, the psychologists who brought us the book "Games People Play", introducing the phenomenal Transactional Analysis.

Communication is a transaction between individuals.

I talk to you with the words i say (the content) and with the niyyah (motivation/intention) i have.

And i hope to be transacted in a certain manner i expect you to respond.

Example,
Humaira: What is your name?
Jude Law: My name is Jude. I like you.
Humaira: I like you too.

See? Transactional.

Eric also mentioned that each individual has 3 ego states.

Ego 1: Parent
This ego name parent is typical of the parent character we know. Bossy, naggy and directive. We ALL have that in us.

Ego 2: Adult
This ego loves facts. Such as the above example. Humaira asks Jude a question using adult ego and hope to get an adult-ego-ed answer too. Adult ego also loves rational and logic. Very straight forward.

Ego 3: Child
The lovable ego, externalising the child in us (duh!). This ego loves to be cuddled, very good in coaxing, crying and whining.

Dun judge yourselves now. No No! ALL of you have ALL of these. Its a matter of how, when and to who you exhibit these ego to.

"The ultimate goal of transactional analysis is the analysis of scripts, since the scripts determine the destiny and identity of the individual"

How apt. My mom used to say, what we say is a do'a. What we say can oftentimes be who we are. So, words such as 'stupid', 'bodoh', 'giler', 'silly', 'kurang ajar' or even 'syaitan', are banned in my household. To the extent when mom needs to say it as a form of educating or teaching us a lesson, she will S-P-E-L-L it out. And she is sooo consistent of this rule, she even does it to our cousins and those kids who come to our house for ngaji classes. My house became a spelling bee for bad words.

My mom was right. Wat we say, becomes the value of who we are eventually. It becomes the central theme of the game we play in our life. By saying 'I'm stupid', you're already playing The Stupid game, even when you dun realise it. I like to say, i'm not smart, but just lucky. So, i play that game in my life. I found myself not being able to control my life, as i depend on luck for things to go smooth. And it is reinforced by the successes i had and i attribute it to luck. This further reinforcing that i'm not smart too.

But how do we come up with such scripts? How do we know to say those words?

EXPERIENCE taught us that, and without proper reflection, we began to make decision that those experience DEFINE us (it becomes a psychological position). And this decision is further reinforced by us saying out the script.

How did i come out with 'I'm not smart but lucky' script?

As i grow up, smart is defined as those in the top 3 position in class. I'm always the fourth. And i began to like the fifth. And as i got higher, i began to sit in 'bigger' number that describes my position in class. Life in Alsagoff was competitive. Dun trust me? Ask any other Alsagoffians. We are competitive by nature, reinforced by the environment. Those who arent, drop out. Or 'stay back' (translation: being retained in the same level twice or thrice).

I thought i'm lucky and not smart because, i had teachers who perhaps, forgot to stroke me that i deserve the position i got. Or mom who forgot not to say "How does this other student fare? Is she better than you?". I once heard she said I'm lucky to be given good grades, good enough to advance to higher level. I'm LUCKY i have a dad who pat me in the back and said "I like that number. I dun understand what you're learning, but i know you put in LOTS of effort into it. And i appreciate you for that. Let's celebrate!" I hold on to that. Dearly.

LUCKY i read this book and realise this (note my personal script. I used the word lucky). I also realised that, luck aside, i am in control of making the decision to take control of my life, rather than attributing it to just luck. I'm capable of making decision about my life, and i also acknowledge that taqdeer, plays ultimate role in the outcome of my life. I decide the process of getting to the outcome.

"Transactional analysis is a tool you can use to know yourself, to know how you relate to others, and to discover the dramatic course your life is taking. The unit of personality structure is the ego state. By becoming aware of your ego states, you can distinguish between your various sources of thoughts, feelings and behaviour patterns. You can discover where there is discord and where there is agreement within your own personality. You can become more aware of the options available to you"

Indeed. When we talk about communication, we always think of the dynamic between us and the other person. WE communicate with OURSELVES too. And often times, these communication patterns are often forgotten. How can we develop effective comm with others when we dont develop one with our own selves?

I read this book as a preparation for my child management cases this Saturday. I hope to find messages and 'tips' to 'teach' parents on how to COMMUNICATE with their children.

Instead, i found the different characters in me (My child - teary ego talking to YOUR adult ego)

My message to parents: Discover the games you play with your children. And WHY you play such games.
Disclaimer: You'll need a Social Worker to guide the process :)

Humaira
No wonder.
The child in me is nurtured.

Still have LOTS of entries to type. RAP starting. Hence the madness. Pray for me.

And i pray for the barakah of time... for ALL of us =D
And Oh! HAPPY SOCIAL WORKER'S DAY!!!!

2007 Blog Laundry List

1. Extra Marital Affairs - History and the 5 different types
2. Blood Diamond experience
3. Tis the festive of sacrifices

InsyaAllah. Will have the time. Will search the time. Will find the time.

Humaira..
stay tuned!

Ordinary afterall?

"Isn't it ordinary to be extra-ordinary?"

Because we're unique in our own way... hence the pursuit to feel special is n.o.r.m.a.l.

Is n.o.r.m.a.l equals to o.r.d.i.n.a.r.y then?

normal (adj): conforming with or constituting a norm or standard or level or type or social norm

Similar, but not the same.

It is afterall, normal (adj- in accordance with scientific laws) to feel extra-ordinary

We're normal....

humaira
abnormal-ing now
normal and not ordinary

Ordinary?

We were told that we're the youths of the nation, the hope of the people, the light at the end of the tunnel.

We were told so many things, except that we're ordinary.

We were told that we can move many things.
How can ordinary people do that?
We were told that we should not be scared to dream, to aspire, to aim to move any mountains... to recreate fairy tales and live a dream.

You failed to tell us that we're human beings.
We are afterall.... o.r.d.i.n.a.r.y
Aren't we?

What's o.r.d.i.n.a.r.y?

Ordinary People
Lyrics by John Legend

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss then we make up on the way

I hang up your call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby youuuu and I

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

Humaira
Ordinary?
Still hoping for my fairy tale

or·di·nar·y adj.

a. Of no exceptional ability, degree, or quality; average.

b. Of inferior quality; second-rate.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com

H.O.M.E + Musical + Colours = LIFE

A full circle?

2 years ago, during HOME@St52, an annual carnival organised by PPIS-Jurong FSC, i took part in the free flu vaccination exercise.

2 years later, i got a really bad flu bug, conquering my immune system, few days before HOME@St52.

Sux?

Kinda timely....
A full circle of humaira's screwed up internal system.

Other than that, i've been busy with work (what else is new), missing my family (esp my cousins), attending weddings (witnessing BEAUTIFUL brides *smile*) and of course, being happy =D

Life's a bliss.
Alhamdulillah.

Should my life be portrayed as a musical, i would be dancing kewl moves, upbeat tempo and rapping away happy words! And of course... romantic songs too.....

As i'm swooned over by the beautiful songs from Puteri Gunung Ledang, the musical.

Excellent Eastern love story.
A STORY which authenticity is sooo secondary.
Cinderella wasnt real. But its still one of the most popular fairy tales ever known to children, isnt it?

Let the Puteri be the Eastern Cinderella then.

And Hang Tuah?
Hmmmm.....

Call me judgemental, i never like him (the character) ever since i picked and read sastera Melayu during Secondary school. Blind obedience to the leader, with no insight and incapable of having independent thoughts, as portrayed and analysed from the literature. However, the portrayal of Hang Tuah is different in PGL. Handsome, suave, pandai berpantun, good with words....[yawnzz] I still prefer Jebat, a no-nonsense man, cunning, creative and most importantly, assertive in standing up for his opinion. A challenge, and ideal for modern women *wink* Should Jebat be the Hero in PGL... hmmm, i wonder if the ending will be different.....

Should my life become a musical, i'll get tired of hitting the high notes. Hence, welcome the colourful pills that 'beautify' my life.

Technically speaking, my health has been a disaster of late. I have noooo idea what causes it, as i swear i took care of my health prudently (ie, sleep before 2am, eat fruits, eat... basically) But the flu bug wasnt merciful to its target. It hit me with the highest temperature of 39.8deg. Virus spread to gastric system.

Alhamdulillah... the colourful pills help combat the bug. As much as i hate swallowing the bitter cure, i have human beings surrounding me nagging endlessly to ensure the 8-hourly activity.

Now that Humaira's great wall of immunity is built up, insyaAllah.... i cant wait to get back to work and continue my pursuit to ensure the success of the carnival. Can't wait....

Fundraising activities...
There are few ways people can do:
The short and smart way, with minimum manpower, or
the huge and traditional way, with maximum resources and manpower.

Both work.
In Social Work, the latter seems to be more preferred.
Fundraising is not only about the output of the funds being raised.
Its the awareness, the amount of energy being galvanised to support a particular cause.
Its outcome: priceless.

Therefore... as much as people cry, tired, get fatally sick out of organising a fund-raising activity, we ALL know, every tear, sweat, vomit and pills swallowed, is for a cause. The tougher the journey... the sweeter the victory. Its ALL part of the process bebeh~

Hence, do not underestimate traditional fundraising effort.

On that note, i invite you to share PPIS-Jurong FSC and our beneficiaries' sweat and effort in our pursuit to raise funds for Straits Times School Pocket Money Fund. Dont let our children miss essential education only because they have no money for transport or food to eat during recess time. Its UNTHINKABLE in a modern and civilised society like ours. Unthinkable!

I'm appealing to your compassionate nature to support this cause.

Lets Seed HOPE so as to Realise their dreams.
Begin with supporting School Pocket Money Fund.

Hope to see y'all there!

More info:
HOME@ST52.

Humaira
Finally... its out of my system

Quote of the week:

We are our own tool in our profession. A change in part of us, will change the quality of the whole tool, hence the quality of our service ~ Dearest Sup

Face Doesn't Lie

Does it?

Mine really doesn't.

It betrayed me... again and again.

I dun mean to lie, really.... i'm just covering the truth =P

The truth about, the union which hopefully will make us better individuals, and most importantly, better servants.

The new journey begins, i suppose.

All the best :)


humaira
Dancing... comfortably


Fav Picture of the week goes to...

Zak-ster and Aid-staz
ke'kakak RAP berkebaya di PPIS Day

Oooooo-tique

The entry with xxx in mind.

Sex in the Lion City?

Yerp. In the middle of CBD area.

There stood a little room of havenly pleasure... to human men and women alike.

The little secret of pleasure which i'm dying to share with u, my darling girlfriends.

How bout a date there sometimes?

I shall arrange it.

With Allah's pleasure, insyaAllah.

Especially those dearies who may find these items of utmost relevant in their next phase of life

Ms Suhailah (25th Nov)
Ms Fidza (9th Dec)
Ms Sarah (April, 2007)
Ms Fitriah (August, 2007)
Ms Ainul (July, 2007)
Ms K (2007)
Ms S (200?)

Ms Rashidah (3rd Dec), Ms Aliah (25th Nov).. to u gals too (though unlikely u'll read this =P)

To dearest dearest Kak Mariam (17th Nov)...
You were georgous. You've always been and will alway be.

Alamak... gtg
PPIS Day now.

=D

The Voyage of Self Discovery

For those who are not in the loop of my Ramadhan activity, here's the news: Went to UIA Gombak for a week. Why? To mug. Seriously! (also to hand in overdue assignmentsss lar)







My adventurous journey started in the west-north train. My big bag which covers half of me attracted some individual's attention. Mr Ismail especially, (yeah.. i know his name coz he gave me a slip of paper consisting name n fone number) as he approached me asking if i'm going for a holiday (duh!). Since i was memorising Surah al-Haaqqah, he also asked if i'm well conversed in Arab. I let him talk and talk. I just smiled. And i board the train. Without him. Pheuh. He asked me to call... which of course i wont.

First time travelling alone.
Alone... but not lonely.

I was accompanied by my self-reflection. And Alhamdulillah, there are people protecting me. Or at least constantly looking upon my welfare. The bus service i took from Singapore carried 2 men and myself. Excluding 2 drivers. The pakciks drivers constantly checked on me if i'm ok. So sweet of them :)

Hey~ I'm not gonna go through day-by-day account. Just few things i wanna remember.


I MISS SCHOOL!!!!!!
I MISS CAMPUS LIFE!!!!!
I MISS LECTURES!!!!
I MISS LIBRARIES!!!
I JUZ MISS EVERY THING!!!
except the exams, really.


Other than that, i realised i'm capable of attending Arab lecture (i may need a big dictionary still, but i survived)

We also learnt to smell the flowers. Despite the busy tasks we have. Coz life contains choices.

Oh! Mental note: To read biography of Malcolm X. Have to search for the book at Kino should i go there again.

And last but not least, Sarah... thank you for having me. Cant thank you enuff, really.

Kinda lazy to write more. Enjoy the pics.


The winding road to mahallah Ameenah.

The view from where we mug.

The boy at the Malcolm X talk.











lalalala~
Humaira
cramp cramp cramp

How do i identify a divine sign?

I promise i'll update my UIA - Ramadhan experience....Soon... (pray i have the strength to do it)

Ja... when's our date? Miss you lots. Let's meet up over cereal sotong?

Perhaps this entry can jumpstart our endless conversation when we finally meet?

Have you ever done istikharah ?

A type of specific prayer which one practices when in a crossroad of choices.

How do u identify Allah's divine answer?

Some say... its in the calmness of the heart.
Some say... u can find it in your dreams.
Some say... well... you'll know it.

How do i know?

by something tangible, like reading or investigating the scary past?
or.... it is really about belief? and the courage to forget the past and trust the hope of the future?

I'm scared.
Yes, Darnie... you may be right. I may be scared of.. perhaps... being hurt again?
How do i remedy fear?

Belief? Trust?

Knowing Allah's bigger plan...?

humaira
Its humaira vs eeman part II.


Awaiting Saturday's itenary:
7am: At Office, preparing logs for wRAP-Up (Youth Programme)
8am: @ Kranji Sec Sch
8.30am: Prepare registration
9am: Programme commences - Parenting Talk, Lower Sec Workshop 5, Upper Sec Rehearsal
10.30am: Break
10.45: Programme resumes
12.30: Ends, refreshment
1pm: Fly to Wisma Indah
2.30pm: Research Methods paper
5pm: End. Asar
7pm: Meet kak Mariam n Yati to go Kak Azidah's house
8pm: Meet kak Sha and the rest to go to Ustaz Haniff's house
10pm: Home. To revise Science of Qur'an

Awaiting Sunday's madness:
7am: Hopefully, still awake and still revising
8am: On the way to Wisma Indah
9.30am: Science of Qur'an Exams
12noon: Ends and Zohor
2pm: Rush back home ~ Prepare to welcome Saff battalion
SMS The Yemen guy about the battalion. Prepare Video Conference.
10pm: Hopefully.... just hopefully.... that will be the end.
10.30pm: Breathe

Seasons of Love

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love? Measure in love

Seasons of love. Seasons of love

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes!
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned?
Or in times that he cried?
In bridges he burned?
Or the way that she died?

U Local?

A very long over due post.

I'll catch up.

First: Thailand.

Sa waa dee ka~

A country of beauty and grace. I'm in love with the language and the way they speak! So respectful. The sky of Bangkok... so clear and pristine... i was amused as i always thought that Bangkok, of all places SHOULD be congested with air pollution. I breathe healthily.

Honestly, my Bangkok experience was found in the markets, bazaars and 3 eating places. We fasted despite our 'musafir' status. We survived, alhamdulillah, while conquering (lemme recall...) 2 shopping centres, 2 bazaars, 1 night market and of course, the in famous cha tu chak market. I admit, i didnt really conquer cha tu chak. I gave up after 4 hours of walking. And that only cover the accessories and clothes section. There are at least 6 other sections!

There are so many stories to tell.. including the incident with a fellow Singaporean at the new Bangkok airport. Oh well, we'll save it some other time.... or when we meet perhaps?

Enjoy the pic.

Which shopping centre do we go first?

2 chicks and a spotty shelter

Dazed by the choice

The hitch-hiking baby elephant.

LOL!!!

Colours colours colours!C'est de la France! J'aime la roue nuit~

Hard Rock with Interesting Warning...."No Drugs or Nuclear Weapons allowed inside"

Mirror mirror in my hand...

The boy who inspires

Johnny's social conscience.
A great landmark too!

Tired and saved by an Arab restaurant

Pass at 15kg

Bz Bz airport

Amateur photos

Leaving Thailand with a glimpse of Beauty and Grace
Kap Kum Ka~

How does one know if she is missing something in her life?

Aida and I went to a secondary school in the east yesterday when we met this charming school counselor. Married. Intelligent. Apparently, he was a teacher. Just took a 6-month course to specialise in counselling.

I wonder..... is it his calling to switch to a career which is deem as more meaningful?

As far as i know, most people switch their professional careers, such as those in the engineering field, banking industry and management, to something which is considered as more mild and more meaningful; touching others' lives via counselling. And most of these people are either in their mid-life (40s) or retiring.

All these people, including the charming school counselor, had experienced life outside the social service.

Social service is my first career. Casework and counselling is my first task.

Does this mean that i found fulfillment earlier than them? Or, am i scared enough to explore my other possibilities and jump into something which is most accessible?

Am I missing something? Will I be exempted or excluded from any important life lessons due to this career inertia?

Aida said, "Yeah! We miss money"

Smart answer.

I don't attempt to disagree.

The day progressed and I attended a Hari Raya makan-makan cum inaugural meeting.

The guestlist was exclusive. And i still wonder how my name could be there.

There i was, sitting comfortably in between the girls, cuddled up in the soft comfortable sofa, trying to make sense of their conversation. Perhaps i was late, hence my struggle.. Perhaps i was still boxed, in a certain system, trying to make sense based on the limited framework.

Basically, i felt boxed. Stucked.

Is this what i'm missing? the experience of being in a larger box?

Is this what life is? Defining the box we're in?

Then i realised.... it IS my decision, MY choice. And i chose to be in this box, maximise it, hence allow it to define me. I always have alternatives. I can choose to break the box (its gonna hurt a lot, myself and others), allowing myself the little hole of freedom. Or, i can just get out from the box and poke it from outside, making it my little hole of connectedness to the past framework.

At the moment, i stick to my decision. As i like how it defines me.

Stuck? Boxed?

I'll create the little hole of freedom.

Hence i have to get ready for some adventure of hurt, anger, disappointment and a whole lot of self-discovery.

Life is empowering.... to the extend that it is beyond our understanding.

Humaira

The 7th-night Date: When u seed love in me

Weather description: Windy.
Lailatul Qadr Indicator: 80% No.
Love letter read: 2nd chapter.

I was supposed to spent my date at AlFalah tonite. Instead, i worked my heart (i cant say b*#@, must respect Ramadhan) out at Saff centre, preparing for Ramadhan Rocks '06 media kit, together with the rest. However, the date was no less significant. In fact, it was one of the memorable dates i never wish to forget.

The date led by fellow comrades brought humility towards your Greatness, my dear. You spread your love so unselfishly, You make it easier for us to love each other for Your name, Your message, Your pleasure. Please continue to unite our hearts, so as to be strong, and together stand in line to be in remembrance of Your greatness. Ameen.

The date was filled with Hope. To help us with our effort. My Dearest, we have done only so much to attain your Pleasure. The outcome is entirely Yours to decide. My dearest the Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

And so we bow in prostration, submitting our whole self to You.... the creator of all.
Help us in our little effort.
Assist us in our weakness.
Unite us in our hearts.

Humaira
Back to the Media Kit

First date: A shiverish experience

When the imam said: Bismillaahirrahmaanirraheem

nawaitu souma ghadin 'an adaa i fardhi syahri ramadhaana haa dzihis sanati lillaahi ta'aala

I felt a shiver going through my spine. It's here. I meet IT again. Alhamdulillah...

I'm proud the way my fellow Muslim Singaporeans are gearing to meet this month.

A concert-cum-forum, an effort by fellow youthful brothers with latent energy to see positive changes in the community viz creative approach. I welcome and applaud such effort =D

Ladies and gentlemen, the quest has begun. To make full use of this opportunity to be closer to the Utmost Loved.

Here's my dating plan (important reminder to self)

1st night, Sat, 23/9: A date at Kassim Mosque --> CHECKED! Shiverish experience!

2nd night, Sun, 24/9: A date at home (to submit research report)

3rd night, Mon, 25/9: A date at home (to bring my text books to the date)

4th night, Tue, 26/9: A date at Assyakirin

7th night, Fri, 29/9: A date at al-Falah

8th night, Sat, 30/9: A date in the OUTDOOR!!!! with other loved ones ~

9th night, Sun, 1/10: A date at home (resting)

10th night, Mon, 2/10: A date at Darussalaam -- after training @ FRTC

11th night, Tue, 3/10: A date at Darussalaam -- after training @ FRTC

12th night, Wed, 4/10: A date at home. Preparing self for another journey

13th night, Thur,5/10: A date at Thai.

14th night, Fri, 6/10: A date at a Mosque at Bangkok (Hmm.. hoping to find one)

15th night, Sat, 7/10: A date at a hotel.

16th night, Sun, 8/10: A date at home. Recuperating...

17th night, Mon, 9/10: A date at al-Falah

18th night, Tue, 10/10:A date at Maulana

19th night, Wed, 11/10:A date at Home

20th night,Thur,12/10:A date at UIA?

21st night, Fri, 13/10: A date at UIA?

22nd night, Sat, 14/10: A date at UIA?

23rd night, Sun, 15/10: A date at UIA?

24th night, Mon, 16/10: A date at UIA?

25th night, Tue, 17/10: A date at home

26th night, Wed, 18/10: A date at Assyakirin

27th night, Thur, 19/10: A date at Assyakirin

28th night, Fri, 20/10: A date at Assyakirin

29th night, Sat, 21/10: A date at Assyakirin

30th night, Sun, 22/10: A date at Assyakirin

Ameen...

Humaira
Gearing up!

Fly Me to the Moon... No... Kingdom... No... ANYWHERE

Thai has to start a coup now. And i haf to attend a training scheduled during my proposed day(s) off!

I think the whole world is against me taking a break!!!

Arrgghhh~

Nevertheless, Thailand, I'm still flying off to you.

World, get ready for humaira!

Humaira
Publishing a book... alhamdulillah

His Other Sister?

The interesting tag-board conversation brought me to reminiscing my past... all the way to the innocent world of Alsagoff.

Due to re-construction, my school was transfered from the (current MINDS) building at Kembangan to the newly upgraded one at Jalan Sultan back in 1992. I was primary 4 then. And at the same time, we were progressed to the A.M session. The schooling system in madrasah is a bit different from those of normal government schools. We can't afford the space to allow alternate session to different levels. Ours work such that all of the lower primary students will attend the P.M session, and the upper primary up to the higher level will have to wake up early in the morning to attend classes. Hence, when you're 10 years old, waking up in the morning to go to school together with the seniors was such honour. I LOOK FORWARD to go to school!

A year later, everyone began to feel settled with the new building. Great infrastructure then. Cool auditorium with AIR-CON!! We, back in 1994, were greatly impressed. We stand tall during the assembly, not to sing the school anthem (we dont have any), but to read the daily prayers, feeling proud, and immensely blessed. That was me, 11 years old.

Being in all-girls school also mean that our socialization circle is limited to the single gender; the females. We admire one another, we love one another, we have crushes, we feel jealous with one another, there was definitely competitions, arguments, cat fights on who get to be that kakak's adik angkat first.... its normal. I dont think its anyway near lesbianism. We need to scrape through the surface and see the underlying needs beneath these actions. These are normal behaviour because it functions to satisfy developmental challenges. The type of challenge which exist in any growing teenagers; the yearn to be loved, known and acknowledged. In this context, rather than being acknowledged by boys, we yearn for acknowledgement from the female seniors whom we respect and admire. Hence, i conclude that this socialisation is unique, and at the same time, as healthy as those experienced in co-ed schools.

So, i experienced having crushes on the kakak-kakaks. Acknowledgement happened to be coincidentally blessed upon me that i dont have to yearn for it much. It happened when some sisters discovered that i kinda look like Art Fazil, hence thought that Art Fazil actually has a kid sister in the school. This kind of jeweled information couldnt be kept secret in a school 1.5-soccer-field wide and 3 levels high. Hypothesis ran wild, and if i had known how to pronounce 'media conference', i would do one for myself and announce that i have no wat-so-ever relation with a man name Art Fazil. I always wondered to myself what kind of name is that anyway? I didnt know how he looks like, really.... Those aside, i admit i enjoy the limelight (so kak 'mummy', there is no need to apologise, really. I should thank you instead for making my growing up years a bit easier. teehee). I remember blushing and constantly running and seeking refuge in the toilet whenever i was teased. Haha. (Hmm... i ran to the boys toilet. My favourite hang-up place in-between lessons)

Who was Art Fazil anyway? My only information of him was from my aunt, who was the producer of HMI (Hiburan Minggu Ini), an entertainment programme for the Malay audience. She mentioned about the station's new rule in banning artistes with long hair, and Art Fazil is one of them. I was quite impressed actually by his assertiveness in standing by his long mane. We're talking about free publicity to boost artiste's name by singing in the show. But he still declined. That spells a lot of character in him.

Oh... i always wonder how its like to have an elder brother anyway. Someone to protect me. To teach and guide me. To tell me things i can never find in books and google. To introduce me wisdom. To nurture me with experience. And to constantly remind me how life is beautiful when one puts the right mind into it. How amazing this will be.... and how wonderful if i can be such a person to another human being =D

Art Fazil continues to have impacts in my life. From allowing me to be acknowledged in tweenage years in school, to making me feel special in my love-struck TEENage life. His album was a constant reference source to the boys in my life to dedicate their 'love' to me with. I was swooned.. yeah... i admit. Merindu Kepastian was popular. And the song 'Nur', a very apt song title which also describe my intimate name only called by the closest human beings on earth; my family, aunts and uncles and cousins. 'Nur' never fails to lift me up and empowers me to exude such light and hope on others. 'Merindu Kepastian' allows ME to constantly have hope that, well, the song will be sung to me again.... some day... :)

I'm sure, this talented singer willl continue leaving his influence in my life, in some way or another.

And i am pleased to allow it.

Apa yang menceriakan bumi
Setiap hari setiap waktu pagi
Membuat wajah berseri

Bagaimana tumbuh-tumbuhan
Terus segar didalam kehijauan
Di dalam hutan dan taman

Nur... cahaya sakti

Di tengah kegelapan malam
Ketika bintang di langit berkerdip-kerdipan
Indah seri sang rembulan

Ketika insan kealpaan
Ketika kejahilan menutup kesedaran
Siapa petunjuk jalan

Nur... cahaya sakti

Nur adalah kuasa semulajadi
Nur adalah asal asli rohani
Nur tercipta dari azali
Nur... nur... nur...

--------------------------
Matters that cheer the world
Everyday every morning
enliven each faces.

How do plants
always fresh in the greeneries
in the forests and gardens

Nur... the magical light

In the middle of the dark night
when the stars in the sky shine
Beautiful is the moon

When human beings forget
when ignorance closes awareness
who guide the path?

Nur... the magical light

Nur is the natural power
Nur is the authentic spiritual root
Nur is created by The Creator
Nur... Nur... Nur....

Nur... the magical light

I look way much different now. They said its the eyes. Go figure lar.


Humaira
planning to get time off later.
Headache unbearable.