The sonnet of Soul

Extracted from Pride and Prejudice (2005)

Elizabeth Bennet: ... I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?

Mr Darcy: I thought that poetry was the food of love.

Elizabeth Bennet: Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead

Mr Darcy: So what do you recommend to encourage affection?

Elizabeth Bennet: Dancing. Even if one's partner is barely tolerable.

(and she turns her back against Mr Darcy, and walks away.... smiling *strikeeee ONE!)

I would have to agree with Mr Darcy there. Poetry is indeed the most apt medium of romantic expression. Deep feelings and emotions can only be illustrated with Beautiful words.

Enjoy the sonnet (to my non-Malay readers, i'm sorry i cant translate it for you. I may do more harm and injustice to it =p)

Gurindam Jiwa
(sung by R.Ismail & Rafeah Buang)
(Lyrics written by Wandly Yazid)

Tuai padi antara masak

esok jangan layu-layuan
Intai kami antara nampak
esok jangan rindu-rinduan

Anak cina pasang lukah
lukah dipasang di Tanjung Jati
Di dalam hati tidak kulupa
sebagai rambut bersimpul mati

Batang selasih permainan budak
daun selasih dimakan kuda
Bercerai kasih talak tiada
seribu tahun kembali juga

Burung merpati terbang seribu
hinggap seekor di tengah laman
Hendak mati dihujung kuku
hendak berkubur di tapak tangan

Kalau tuan mudik ke hulu
carikan saya bunga kemboja
Kalau tuan mati dahulu
nantikan saya dipintu syurga

I'm not so sure if this is considered a sonnet (dunno wad that means! Ja.. ur expert opinion please) But, listening to this song being sung Live, it brings new meaning to love songs, really. You cant find the lyrics blatantly saying 'I love you's'. Instead, such emotion is described by innocent actions of taking a peek to see what that special someone is doing, the promise to stay together till eternity, and even if eternity doest exist on earth, the love and longingness will continue in the after-world life. Such subtle words describing passionate intimacy, deep feelings and hopeful future... (obviously smitten)

Humaira
and that affair with the 7 composers.
Priceless!

My version of a fairy tale

The 24th year of my existance was celebrated by memorising the worldviews created by men (yerp, this include Darwin's theory of evolution and the -isms of the world)

6th of May, my limelight was shared with the General Election. The day ended with my fellow Saff activists, promising more deadlines and efforts to be done to achieve mardhatillah. We had pizza and heart-felt speeches after that (Thanks all)

I haven't sit down and personally thought about the growing number of years i stand on this earth, the amount of oxygen i've breathed in and how much i've contributed to pay for these ni'mat (blessings) i've endowed. There are still so many things i've yet to be. Many things i've yet to do. Many things i've done wrong and more things i've learnt.. walking in this often times less taken route.

I could have been an Usuluddin graduate from IIUM, making my way to work in the Islamic Religious Council of Singapore, and looking into the madrasah system and its implications and development. Perhaps, i could have been engaged to a pilot-to-be whom my mom adores, and lead a life as i've known. Instead, i took up a single major in Social Work, learning any other modules which are difficult to score (I wasnt really thinking of achieving good results anyway), met a guy who introduced me to experience Grief, get myself busy with da'wah effort and basically dedicate myself to constantly challenge my comfort zone and be worried with the never-ending deadlines and project executions.

Unconsciously or not, i've chosen this path. It has been thorny, sometimes lonely, increasingly challenging.... i cried about it, am proud of it, and i simply hope and pray really hard that it does not increase its difficulties BEYOND my capacity.

I could have chosen to go to France and live a fairy tale life, or even New Zealand, working with the fellow changemakers. i could. i could. I could have not chosen to further my studies by taking ANOTHER degree and instead continuing my masters. But i did.

It boils down to (a) bad decision making, or (b) being assertive and knowing what i want in life.

I still want my own version of a fairy tale life...
A princess in the pursuit to get to the castle, walking alone in the dark and lonely forest, joined by a lovely companion and a group of merry friends, all together going towards the same destination. Fighting against the big bad wolves, dangerous fiery dragons and evil witches, working together to hunt for basic food to survive..ensuring each other's motivation and making sure one another is in good shape. The journey would be the most sweet and enjoyable one.

No.. my fairy tale wont end with a 'happily ever after'.
If the journey has to end, it will end with a hope of mercy and goodness.
As the result of the journey is unknown to any.

24 years... and i hold on to this:

I would rather stumble a thousand times, attempting to reach a goal, than to sit in a crowd, in my weather-proof shroud, a shrivelled and self-satisfied soul...

I would rather be doing and daring, all of my error-filled days, than watching and waiting, and dying smug in my perfect ways...

So guide me in my stumbling, doing and daring, and show me the light during my error-filled days.

Humaira...
an entry with 24 years worth of emotions..
24 years of decision making....
24 years of consequences....
and years ahead of hope...

Ultimate Berfday Surprise

www.suicidalness.blogspot.com

Check that out.

To my dearest dearest colleagues, i've been saying thanks, and i wont stop. Thank youzzzzz!!!!!!

Humaira
Tarched