Humaira and that Last stretch in 2005

The last event of the year. A celebration that closes 2005. Yes, i was anxious. Scared that it wont go according to plan. Yes. It was rushed.

The outcome: Grooovy bebeh!! Thanks to the wonderful job by the Committee.. And of course, my dearest volunteers. Gawd! I adore them!

Harry Potter colour with Retro words. Woohooo!! I liiikkkkeeee!!!

Me and da gurls!

Me and the volunteers.
From left, Fawzey the groovy MC, Din the sound genius, Hazeeq the serenading hunk, Shidah the dearest, yours truly and Atiq.... the super girl!

I'm surrounded by the Youths of the Nation!

Excellent work bros and sis!

I feel the need to record this so as to keep it in memory.
The process of organising this event has been wonderful. Surrounded by supportive adek2, friends who are empathetic towards the changed humaira, i feel blessed and encouraged.

The nite before the event was spent @ Mr Teh Tarik till the wee hours. Singing along to the Hindustan songs (although i dun understand, its fun watching the others making fool of themselves, haha!~) The aftermath of the event was also spent lepaking and ventilating to each other.

Guys, you made my 2005 rawks! Thanks!


Humaira....
Affectionately known as Kak, Kak Zak, 'Z'
... loved... loving... loves...

Nice Mosque Toilet Award

~ Humaira and That Simple Solution~

It was mentioned.

The solution for the problem of the world is simple.

Simple does not mean easy.

Make sense.

Why?

It was mentioned.


The solution for today's problem is Islam.

Getting Islam to be the solution is not easy.

Make sense?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Having high internal locus of control is stressful.
Internal locus of control means.. u attribute success, and failure to yourself.
At this moment, i'm attributing the negative outcomes to myself.
Hard.
Hard.
Hard.

I really need to memorise that ayat.

Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 286.

On no soul doth God place a burden greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns.

"Our Lord! Condemn us not if we forget or fall into error"

"Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which Thou didst lay on those before us"

"Our Lord! Lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear"

Blot out our sins, and grant us forgiveness. Have mercy on us. Thou art out Protector; help us against those who stand against Faith"

I can't complain as i've chosen this path.
I can't complain as i've chosen the load.

I just wish.........


i can be stronger.

humaira... with monkeys on her shoulder.

Note to self: Nan's gonna kill me if she reads this entry; my excruciating, unexplainable stomach cramp returns. Stopped having those cramps ever since i left school. Now returns! Uwaaa~! Cant be psychosmatic, non?

Word gallery: Psychosomatic
Psychological stress which impacts physical/biological functioning
Example: Pri 1 kid doesnt like to go to school -- going to school may cause him stressed psychologically. Kid may present symptoms such as having fever every time to go to school. Real high fever occurs (which means biological change), everytime stressful situation occurs. Maknanya, biler time biasa2, dia tak demam. Tiap kali nak gi sekolah ajer dia demam.

Interesting yar?

How our psychological being connected to our physical being.

The Systems Theory Activates

Another day at work and i can feel the engine is still warming up. While waiting for it to heat up, i bloghopped, reading others' blogs in my contacts and my contacts' contacts. Interesting how your immediate circle of friends influence your thoughts and fikrah.

I am indeed, humbled by the reviews and observations expressed by my sahabahs, on life and its challenges.

While i am trapped with psychological and sociological theories and explanations on everyday functioning, they reminded me of the simple solution to these challenges. Allah. Indeed.

While i am trapped with worries on my youths, my sahabahs worry on bigger issues pertaining our faith.

A takeaway from my bloghopping readings:
m: actually ramai sebenarnye dalam dunia ni
m: yang selalu kite nampak dye gembira
m: cam tak pernah sedeh
m: tapi sape yg tade msalah rite?
m: cume cara kite menghadapi masalah membezakan kite dgn yg lain
m: the best is to refer to God
(Ref: http://www.jenggo.blogspot.com/, 211205)

Even the way we refer to God.... differs.
Irregardless of ways, He knows.

Humaira... assured

Pssst: Adek adek, thank you so much for the respect and trust you've awarded me. Your challenges are indeed great, and I congratulate you for your undying effort to aspire change. Remember Him. It beats puffing your troubles away =D

Bachelorette Party #1

The Bachelorette party was fine my dearest. Although i cudnt join the whole party, watching the whole action on video cracked me up! Niweiz... enjoy some of the pics.

Azma... (KAHKAH), enjoy your BMWs.

Hmm.. Why bachelorette party #1? Coz there's gonna be MORE to come in the coming year!! Stay tune gerls. Get the curlers ready!!!





















Humaira
*Bachelorette
Pronunciation: 'bach-l&r&aite, 'ba-ch&aite-
Function: noun
an unmarried woman

Handy wandy

What does your handwriting say about YOU?

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a social person who likes to talk and meet others.
You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.
You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody!
You are self-confident and like to bring attention to yourself.

Home... at last

The whole madness has ended.

If i am to define limit, this is it. The limit to my multi-tasking capability.

The whole week was spent sleepless, carrying bags full of worries and guilt and angst and more worries. Dreams were diagnosed with virusses of darkness and again... worry.

To those who made efforts to calm and soothe me, i thank you.

To those who made efforts to make things worse for me, i thank you.

To those who had fun while i slog my butt off, i implore you to eat soil (heh... please dun. I still need you to remind me what life shud be)

All in all... the week cudnt and shudnt have been longer. Else, i'll just die.

I get to know myself better though...
The bad AND the good.

I get tired of being tired. I get tired of being worried. I get tired easily.
When i'm tired... what do i do?
I smile.

The week forced me to reflect what does success mean to me?
How do i measure success?

Success is when my youth comes to me and tells me she wants to put up 'tudong'.
Success is when my youth invites his friend to solat when he heard azan.
Success is when my youth comes to me and says he feels assured and cared for when he talks to me.

Now...
how do you measure those?

Humaira
Home... a place i call my own; safe, happening, colourful.

pssst: by the way, my degree has started. I'm officially an International Islamic University (UIA) student. Henceforth, i hereby declare.. the death of my social life.

All rise for a minute silence.

------------------------------------------------------

Humaira... social murdered.

Gambar Lapok

Millions tasks

Having a big dose of Brit over the weekend to de-stress. The week was horrendous. I'm not even talking about it here.

This is gonna be short and sweet, as i have millions tasks in my to-do list.

Dear....

it was asked

"How are you supposed to measure time with a man that you want to spend the rest of your life with? What would make sense? Centuries?"

Imagine getting over them?

It is hard.

It is painful.

It is tormenting.

Believe me.

Dear.... I'm sorry if i've not been the best-est of friends. Unlike you, who came to me right after a phone call.

Dear.... forgive me for my inability to perform my duty as your sahabah....

Dear.... stay strong.... You'll get over this.

humaira
*determined to get over all these madness and back to LIFE*

Do We?

YOU LEARN (Alanis Morissette)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Ooh, ooh, ooh...

I, recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone, yeah
I, recommend walking around naked in your living room, yeah

Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

1-You live you learn, you love you learn
You cry you learn, you lose you learn
You bleed you learn, you scream you learn

I, recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I, recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free

Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears
(repeat 1)

I, I, oh, oh

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually, anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend
(rpt 1)

You grieve you learn, you choke you learn
You laugh you learn, you choose you learn
You pray you learn, you ask you learn
You live you learn

21 Things I Want in a Lover?? =P

Watch Video:

21 THINGS I WANT IN A LOVER (Alanis Morissette)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
That it alone does not equate wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion?
But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny?
la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime
I'll live like there's no tomorrow

Are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week?
Up for being experimental? are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted?
...curious and communicative...

It's Ok ~~ A song for a BAD day

Watch Video:

LITHIUM (Nirvana)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Lithium --------- by Nirvana

I'm so happy cause today
I found my friends
They're in my head
I'm so ugly but that's ok
Cause so are you
We broke our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday
For all I care
And I'm not scared
Light my candles in a daze
Cause I found God
hey, hey, hey
I'm so lonely but that's ok
I shaved my head
And I'm not sad
And just maybe I'm to blame
For all I've heard
But I'm not sure
I'm so excited I can't wait
To meet you there
But I don't care
I'm so horny but that's ok
My will is good
hey, hey, hey
[[ I like it - I'm not gonna crack
I miss you - I'm not gonna crack
I love you - I'm not gonna crack
I'd kill you - I'm not gonna crack ]] x2

I, too, had an interesting weekend =P

Everyone seems to be talking about their weekend.

Oh~

My interesting thoughts i had last weekend!

Interesting Thought #1: Traveling.

My family has a knack for it.

My Cik Mi travels excessively. It becomes second nature to her as she works in Saudi. She worked in Brunei before. Her next travel destination is Russia.

Cik Ya travels too. Just came back from Umrah, her destinations include China, Turkey, Syria, Lebanon (and the loong list goes on).

Kak Mas too (and her husband, abang Herman) travel. They just came back from Turkey. Their honeymoon destinations include Japan, Germany and South Africa.

I'm deeply envious of them.

I know my family. They come from humble background. Just like the average you and me (actually, i consider myself below middle class) But, how can they afford the luxuries????

The weekend family gathering taught me some values in life:
- Identitfy what's important in life and pursue it.
- Be smart (especially with your $$)
- If you wanna travel, get a group tour. Its actually cheaper.
- The experience is far more valueable than the souvenirs bought from each country
- Make new friends while you travel. Be adventurous. The World is your playground.
- Better start moving further from just KL!!!

I'm deeply inspired.

Humaira shouts: I wanna see the World too. But first, lemme see some $$ in my bank account. Heh!

Interesting Thought #2: Migrating

I never knew migrating is an encouraged idea in my family. I thought it would be very difficult for any family to let their loved ones to be away from them. But, the very fact that my family has accepted my aunt to work in Saudi, i should have known their receptiveness towards migrating.

I've thought about it. And... the idea is always very inviting.

Isn't it nice to be able to start afresh? To be given an opportunity to start your life on a piece of clean paper/cloth?

Cik Mi: Migrate jer Nur... Bagus.. timba pengalaman. Creates different perspective in you.
Kak Ina: A ah Cik Mi. Ina pon kalau boleh nak migrate jugak. Stress lar tinggal kat Singapore nih!
Cik Mi: Haa.. Bagus! Then u must work for it lar.
Humaira: (silent) I would migrate. But I'm a Social Worker. My profession roots me to the land.
Cik Mi: Apa pulak? Cik Mi jumpa banyak Social Workers who made it big in the international scene. You just have to further your studies. Work hard so that people create opportunity for you. Its possible.
Humaira: (Hmmm.. very inspired.. but...) Memang betul. Given a chance, i wud pursue that. Tapi Cik Mi.. kalau semorang kluar.. semorang migrate.. saper nak kisah pasal our community in Singapore? What's gonna happen to the ummah here? Hmmm.. Let me stay here and do that work. A lot of work to be done on our community ajer.
Cik Yah: Hmmm... point noted.

I dunno whether i'm being foolish and stupid, or naive and ambitious. I would WANT to achieve those big dreams, but i also know.. i'm NEEDed here, now, doing what i'm doing.

Allah a'lam.
Show me the right path. Puh-leaaazzzeee....

Humaira
Serious entries make my head spin.

The Entry Which Humaira is Talking to Self

I've decided.

Yerp. I did.

I'm gonna take up the challenge.

I'm gonna dedicate 4 more years to do it. Yerp. Another B.A, insyaAllah.

This time, it is to fulfil my mom's hope and aspirations.

This time, it is to pursue my interest and desire.

Allah... please guide me through.

A difficult decision, it is, as i'm aware that some ni'mah may have to go.
Those late nights and weeknights to hang out. Those classes with my cute DACC students.
All those will have to go.....
For the pursuit of knowledge....
To get to know You better....

BUT!

4 years is loooooong.
Can i persevere?
Will i?
Shall i?

And it'll be local!
Isnt it the same?
I wanna see different grass.
Different trees...
Different sky...

Allah.. guide me in my decision.
Show me clear lines between my necessity and desires.

Humaira
Praying hard to feel the seed of sakeenah in her decision

~One of the Most Cleverest ;) ~

I cant stand 2 types of people; proud and rude.

Next to terrorists, these people rank the second in the most dangerous people list. They should be annihilated from the face of the earth, and all of them can just eat soil!

I'm working hard on a divorce case. Thus i'm introduced to the legal culture.. which include the drivers of the law.. lawyers.

Initially.. yeah.. i was impressed by the confidence and aura that they haf. They intimidate, very sure of what they're saying and of coz.. authoritative. Which can be good for clients AND their social workers. Their lack of empathy in their communication and making it 'legal'... blew me away.

***wait wait. I've been using the word 'they' while its actually just ONE lawyer. I shall stick to 'they' as it preserves neutrality. So continue...***

So, here i am.. a newbie (actually not so new... but i consider 1-year in the profession still new ar), lost in the new culture, trying to understand new jargons.

I'm supposed to help my client fulfill some checklist. The checklist indicated 'statement...'

My understanding of statement is.. u fill in a form, u sign, and voila! That can be a statement already. What exactly does this lawyer want?

Naturally, i called the office. The assistant picked up. I asked her the question. The person didnt give satisfying answer. So i asked again. And the assisstant asked the lawyer.

Irritated, the lawyer took the phone and kinda scolded me saying heshe was busy and heshe couldnt understand why i cant understand a simple term.

HAAALLLLOOOO!!! You brag about your 14 years of handling these type of legal cases. For 14 years, you should know that not everyone is a lawyer dammit. For 14 years, you should know who should do the stupid affidavit! Just because this case is aided by the legal bureau and you're not gaining profit from it, doesnt mean you can shove your tasks for me to do!!!

Sheeshhh!!!

And what makes you think that you're busy that you cannot answer my questions politely? As a PROFESSIONAL who has been in the line for 14 years, using busy-ness as an excuse to be rude supposed to command respect? You command my loathe.

Yes, i reacted emotionally. It totally spoilt my momentum with my client.

Because I feel insulted and I feel stupid by your comments. And that make me sad. I know you can handle this matter in a different and less insulting way. Two different professionals working together require respect. And i dun get that.

Being a typical social worker, i need to end this with ermm.. a positive and 'lessons-learnt' mode.

My client and i bond closer ties fighting our emotional pain with this god-sent-to-test-our-patience person. We shall go through the process together, developing better trust with one another, insyaAllah.

I hope from this experience, i become stronger when facing buggers like these. Heh.. no lar~ actually.. i hope i become more knowledgable in matters pertaining professionalism. At least now i know the attitudes that i cant accept. I am determined not to be the very person i loathe.

Another good thing about the incident was; i realise that MSN is a CRUCIAL support system in my work. Just after the horrendous phone conversation, i straight away type to anyone whom i first click the cursor on and blurted out wad happened. Someone responded very well to my crisis. Thank you for saying the sweetest thing :: "Zakiah... you are one of the most cleverest and smartest friends i have in my contact list":: It made me cry, and smile.... Thank you.

Humaira
One of the MOST cleverest and smartest

Good Mental Health anyone?

An article from AmericanValues.org

Interesting how they perceive marriage vis-a-vis these factors...

About Men

* Married men earn between 10 and 40 percent more than single men with similar education and job histories.
* Married people, especially married men, have longer life expectancies than otherwise similar singles.
* Marriage increases the likelihood fathers will have good relationships with children. Sixty-five percent of young adults whose parents divorced had poor relationships with their fathers (compared to 29% from non-divorced families).

About Women

* Divorce and unmarried childbearing significantly increases poverty rates of both mothers and children. Between one-fifth and one-third of divorcing women end up in poverty as a result of divorce.
* Married mothers have lower rates of depression than single or cohabiting mothers.
* Married women appear to have a lower risk of domestic violence than cohabiting or dating women. Even after controlling for race, age, and education, people who live together are still three times more likely to report violent arguments than married people.

About Society

* Adults who live together but do not marry—cohabitors—are more similar to singles than to married couples in terms of physical health and disability, emotional well-being and mental health, as well as assets and earnings. Their children more closely resemble the children of single people than the children of married people.
* Marriage appears to reduce the risk that children and adults will be either perpetrators or victims of crime. Single and divorced women are four to five
times more likely to be victims of violent crime in any given year than married women. Boys raised in single-parent homes are about twice as likely (and boys raised in stepfamilies three times as likely) to have committed a crime that leads to incarceration by the time they reach their early thirties, even after controlling for factors such as race, mother's education, neighborhood quality and cognitive ability.

The authors conclude with three fundamental conclusions:

1. Marriage is an important social good, associated with an impressively broad array of positive outcomes for children and adults alike.
2. Marriage is an important public good, associated with a range of economic, health, educational, and safety benefits that help local, state, and federal governments serve the common good.
3. The benefits of marriage extend to poor and minority communities, despite the fact that marriage is particularly fragile in these communities.

So people...
get yourselves married!!!!

Yours truly...
humaira

~lalalalala~

Your Musical Tastes Match: Jennifer Garner

See her whole playlist here (iTunes required)

What Celebrity Matches Your Taste in Music?

The Taib Clan Part 1

Irdina.. my little niece. She's round, aint she?

A super manja girl, she luvs EVERYBODY who holds her. She'll keep quiet... hold on tight to you like a little Koala... Wad more can one expect from a baby? =D

Tired little one... Hey!! Its just 1pm on the first Syawal!!

Aini so happee!! Going Sri Lanka gerl? All the best yar!

Cheeky Little Hafiz. The Clan's youngest grandchild.

Ini lar anak dara anak dara Ya-e Taib. Kalau dah jumper.. macam2 bebual!

Aisyah... Brudder's student.






Introducing... SOME of the Taib clan (Cik Cit's and Pak Wa's family not in the pic)


From left: Kak Ina (getting married next year), kak Liana (the baby's mommy), kak Mas (behind her is her hubby abang Hirman), Wak Mahmud and his first granddaughter DIANa, behind him is abang Zaki. Next, Mak Wa and her 2nd granddaughter irDINA, behind her is my brader A-mat Zarir, beside him is my daddy. Sitting infront of him is my mommy, den my aunt Cik Mi (working in Riyad at the moment), yours truly, and my sis. Not in the picture is the baby's father, my cousin abang A-Mat Sabri.

;)

~Another Beautiful Day~

Smyc Pictures

Uploaded some SMYC pictures.
Yes.. its LOOONG overdue... but... hey. Better late than never they say. Late because, my photo n video team had to consolidate over 3000 pictures taken. For the benefit of my personal memory and appreciation, i'm just gonna d/l my fav moments/pictures.

Enjoy~



The Umbrella people. We RAWK!!

I actually miss the rehearsals, the endless practices and bickerings of the members. Oh~ Aina's scoldings too "Aiyaa... not like that lar!Can you guys be serious or not. Don't kick too hard. Be lady liiiiikkkeeee... Be suwaaaaaarve. suwaaaarve. You know what i mean? (Actually she meant suave)" and etc etc.

Learning modern dance, ladies? It beats those gym workout regime! =D

SMYC!! Awoookkk~~~~
(Awok means 'Ok' in Sarawak language. Taught by our dear Awang)

(Left) Ailing Darling.. my partner in crime.
As camp's Official photographers, we did a damn good job aint we? =D


(Right) Miss Huda a.k.a Miss National Leader..With Moggie sesat kat belakang tuh






This is my favourite moment @ Ubin. As a Watch, we were tasked to build a raft and test it on real water. So.. we were listening to the instruction...



...and strategising... and figuring out how to tie the complicated knots...










Now this is our completed Raft...

Sui Sen RAWKS!!
Talking about Sui Sen, it took me 2 days @ OBS to realise how FAMILIAR the name is. NUS mates, you remember Bizad Hon Sui Sen library?? The most terperuk lib but super comfy (before the newly renovated Arts library lar). The library was only relevant when we do our Human Resource Management module (muahahaha)

Niwei.. back to rafting...

Getting ready to test our baby in the real world....

Ready...

READY....
(Haha!! The lop-sided raft on the extreme left is my watch's. Something gone wrong during the design stage. We survived... barely...) =D

ATTAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Right) The Kayakers

(Left) Visited by Bro Shahid..... (Right) THE INSTRUCTORSSSSSS!!!




BBQ @ Nacli and Cultural Nite @ (i cant remember the place)... I'm the modern Japanese Muslimah with half kimono and denim skirt and tudung. Rojak betol


Pics pics pics


Smile smile smile

Sabbie the 'Serial' prawn

Urashima ~Xa Quay Ah~ Haruka

Simply knowing you are there gives others a sense of security and continuity. You are a woman of few words and much wisdom, and the capacity to see beyond the surface that others are distracted by. However, you tend to find distractions for yourself to keep you from thinking about the bad times in your life. Try to solve your problems as soon as you can, so you can live life in genuine happiness. Which Love Hina Girl Are You?

A Family Life Cycles

Eid Mubarak to Muslims all over the world.

The preparation to celebrate the day wasnt much. I was too sad to leave the blessed month of Ramadhan. Nevertheless, the day came with renewed relationships and love between human beings. I'm happy.

It's normal for my family to visit my eldest maternal aunt during the first day of Raya because
(1) She's the eldest aunt (duh)
(2) She cooks GOOOOOOOODDDDD SINFUL food
(3) Meeting point for all married cousins and unmarried ones
(4) Photo-taking session

Yerp. We did all those, ALL.

Met my second and youngest (thus far) niece, Irdina. She's 5 month old and sooo round!! Hehe.. and so manja. She refused to sleep unless someone cuddles her to bed. So, i hugged and 'serenaded' her to sleep. The feeling was good. Humaira says Hello motherly instinct! =D

My family is growing larger.. both physically and in numbers. I'm appreciative as i've always wanted to have a large family. More people to talk to, to visit, and to care for. As the new ones are born... the older ones are beginning to take a back seat. One person who has changed the most, is my eldest aunt.

She was a SUPERB cook. I can force myself to eat her delicious satay or fried lontong even when i'm full to the brim. This year, nature is taking a toll on her. As another aunt mentioned, she has over-used the tools endowned by God, and its asking to take a break. Indeed. One thing i can assure my aunt is, she has utilised her God's gift tool to the fullest.

My heart breaks seeing her putting in effort to walk. She ages so fast.

In my heart, i remember her as the supermom to 4 wonderful cousins of mine. She has brought them up with her never-ending patience and graceful silence as tools for disciplining.

She was a supermom to me too. Taking care of me when i was in pre-school years, while my mom works.

My aunt.... the indicator of change in our family life cycle.

Humaira
Renewed Self in Family

Falling Helplessly in Love

"And hold fast, all together, by the rope which God (stretches out for you), and be not divided among yourselves, and remember with gratitude God's favour on you; for ye were enemies and He joined your hearts in love, so that by His Grace, ye became brethren; and ye were on the brink of the pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus doth God make His Signs clear to you; that ye may be guided"

~Ali Imran;103~

Wonderful date.

Spending time with You in solitude.

Peace. Serene. Calm.

Entertained by melodious tunes of Your Words.

Dark.

Slightly lighted.

Its ok, my Love.

The moon is enough.

For me to recite Your Love Letter.

Touch me with Your Grace.

Hold me with Your Bless.

Kiss me with Your Mercy.

For I... am falling helplessly in Love....

Humaira
Counting every beat.

Pssst: Dear, did you just mention about living on a thin red line?

Thank you for Teaching me Life

Welcome to the last 10 nights of Ramadhan. Am feeling all stressed out trying frantically to finish my tilawah reading. Even my physical being is showing signs of exhaustion. Let's pray Allah gives us strength to move on...

I had 'somewhat-feels-like-the-last conversation' with Brudder. It was sweet of him to make sure i'm not angry with the decision he made about not telling me of his engagement. I was angry... a bit... but... he make it up with the conversation. I'm not that petty after all...

Brudder...
Its true... i changed first. Letting u go, and allowing you to back off...Ever since i met Faizal (haf i told u that i regret that?)
Its true... i expect changes to happen... starting now....
Its true... i'm kinda sad... coz things will never be the same...
Its true... i'm also very happy for you....

Brudder...
Thanks for remembering the little promises you made (indeed you're a man of ur words)
Thanks for making me 'suffer' with the little bets u made (just so to make your points)
Thanks for the semester of madness, drama and new ventures (i'll never forget those memories)
Thanks for being sharp, yet subtle when pointing out my weaknesses (that's how i learn, n i begin to respect you)

No...
I have never seen you in any other way
No...
I have never regard you as any other

I may not miss the moments we shared in school, but i always hug it close to my heart. Those were memories worth remembering.. Like you said..remember or cherish not only of the fun part, but also the lessons learnt throughout the journey.

Bro, this entry is a tribute to your contribution to a person's life during your singlehood.

Thank you for teaching me Life.

Your student,
Your lil sis.

Humaira

Pssst: Oh yeah... i wont haf nightmares of your werds "Saper lah i ni... dah lah kurus, hitam, tak hensem, gedebak gedebuk... gerl maneeer lah nak i? Camner sis? Sis, u carikan i ar..."
Pheeeuuuhhh... i definitely wont miss that! =D

SMYC.... AWOOOOKKK!!!

(SMYC...OK!)

It is a rainy Sunday, and here I am, sitting comfortably at a Mcdonalds, eating my dinner while trying to write about a camp I went 3 months ago.

I stopped typing for 10 minutes. Staring blankly at the screen of my lappie.

There are so many things to share, so many stories to tell. Where do I start?

Suddenly, I heard that familiar msn buzz.

It's Leong, a friend I met during the 10^th Singapore – Malaysia Youth camp. How timely!

leong says:

hi

leong says:

long time no c

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

hello

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

yalor...

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

been bz

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

how r u?

leong says:

how r u there?

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

i'm fine..

leong says:

fine

leong says:

just start work

leong says:

oh........

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

supposed to write about smyc now... dunno wat to write

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

wah!!

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

heyy!!

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

good for u!! About the work I mean... :D

leong says:

why u r writing about smyc?

leong says:

u all need 2 do a report for smyc?

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

not report...

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

an article

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

for magazine or filing I suppose

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

wad do you think shud i write about?

leong says:

ok

leong says:

emm...................

leong says:

good experience loh

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

Thats a lot! wad specific good experience?

leong says:

like having a good friend like me lah

leong says:

hahah

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

hehe

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

awwwwwwwwwwwww.................

leong says:

after so long we still keep in touch

humaira..Live @ Shaw Towers McDonalds says:

true true

leong says:

although we hv to get back 2 our working life liao

Leong is right. This is something worth writing about.

3 months after our first meet, we still keep in contact, although we're miles apart and have gotten back to our mundane everyday chores.

3 months ago, we met for the first time at Nacli, for the 10^th Singapore-Malaysia Youth camp, annually organised as one of the efforts to foster good relations between the two nations via its’ youths. For the past decade and more, 40 Singaporean and another 40 Malaysian youth leaders have been selected to participate in this noble programme.

For working youths like Leong and I, and some other youths from both countries, those 10 days were a great escape from work and deadlines. Our days were indulged with good food (i.e cereal prawns), exciting games, interesting places to go to, and the most importantly, excellent companies.

We remember the screaming and making Kallang waveS on the Hippo Bus ride in the middle of Orchard Road, the seemingly endless dance rehearsal for the ceremony with the Ministers, the merciless mosquito bites at Pulau Ubin, the quarry warfare on our very own rafts, the late night show with Awang who tells us stories about his funny kampung to city adjustments, and many many other snippets and little experience that we treasure and share with others when we talk about the camp.

At the end of the camp, we gained 79 new friends who acknowledge our existence, and care for our well-being. Now that we’re back at our own countries, work and schools, we constantly keep track of each others' lives (well.. most of us). Leong has gotten a job, Lena’s elder brother is getting married at end of the year and some of the Singaporean delegates are coupled up after the camp.

It is easy to make friends, but it takes a whole lot more effort to sustain a friendship. The above-mentioned shared experience help bind us all together.

This article is written to celebrate these momories. To remind us of the good times we shared, and the great friendship we shall have till the end of time.

To end, enjoy the Pahang folk song as shared by one of our friends.

Kalau ada sumur di ladang

Boleh lah hamba menumpang mandi

Kalau ada umur yang panjang

Boleh lah hamba berjumpa lagi…..

Direct translation:

If there's a well on your field

Allow me to use it to bathe

If there's time in the future

Hopefully we can meet again….

Humaira..... dancing to the tune

Aren't We All Hypocrites??

*Under Construction*

Angered.. but time and busy-ness dun permit expression

Will be up this week!

Humaira

...I don't wanna be a grown up like the grown-ups I have seen...

A day stone-ing at work.

Listening to my Dawud's CD....

Enjoy!

The blue sky is blue like blue bubble gum,
but it prays to Allah, it prays to Allah,
and like the flavour of the blue sky and the bubble gum won't last,
so we've got to thank Allah before our chances go past.

I don't wanna be a grown-up like the grown-ups I have seen,
`cause the grown-ups I have seen don’t seem to have much fun.
They don't get down on the floor enough to pray or play with toys,
when I'm a grown-up, I won't want to be one

Now, if I lived back at the time of the Prophet
I know that he would be different, I just know he'd find the time and
I would make him something, special like some paper planes or something,
I could race those planes with him or get a camel back ride.

The blue sky is blue like blue bubble gum
but it prays to Allah, it prays to Allah,
and like the flavour of the blue sky and the bubble gum won't last,
so we've got to thank Allah before our chances go past.

I'd like to write a promise, I want you to make it too,
that if I misbehave a little, like I sometimes do,
you won't get really mad and you'll be patient like the prophet.
I really love my promise. How about you?

The blue sky is blue like blue bubble gum
but it prays to Allah, it prays to Allah
and like the flavour of the blue sky and the bubble gum won't last,
so we've got to thank Allah before our chances go past.

To be a Mommy or a Daddy must be really, really hard,
so let's take a break together, cause I know how much you try.
Let's have a dish of applesauce, then tumble in the yard
and we can pray and we can play along with the blue sky.

The blue sky is blue like blue bubble gum
but it prays to Allah, it prays to Allah
and like the flavour of the blue sky and the bubble gum won't last,
so we've got to thank Allah before our chances go past.

Written by a 4-year old, and arranged by the singer Dawud Wharnsby Ali

http://www.simplyislam.com/iteminfo.asp?item=50477

A reminder to myself.... to enjoy being an idealist. To enjoy life. To cherish it!

Rasulullah had his fun too.. if i can remember fondly from the histroy books i've read on The Prophet's life, he was the favourite uncle of the children in the town. He would play with them, joke with them, educate them with compassion and love.

A role model indeed....

************************************************************

Its time to say goodbye to my cute Level 1 students. I received an email notice, informing the teacher restructuring. I'm teaching Level 5 kids.

Why teach, humaira?

Don't you have enough? How much da'wah effort you want to put your hands into?

I'm learning to manage those comments.

I'm not doing this for the community per se.

I'm doing this for myself.

To remind me... that, every youth that i meet in my line of work... there's hope.

Give some time. Give more love. Give more patience.

More prayers. More conviction. More compassion.

InsyaAllah.

They'll be okay.

We learnt something close to heart in Level 1.
We learnt about giving.
We learnt from Dawud's song; Give A Little

Enjoy! =D

Give a little of yourself.
Cure your greed, purify your wealth.
Look around at where you live,
look at all the good you have to give.
Give a little of yourself.

There is a hand somewhere to hold, a mouth to feed.
There's so much that we can do for so many who are in need.
Give our time, give our wealth,
give our love, give ourselves
knowing we can change the world with every deed.

Give a little of yourself.
Cure your greed, purify your wealth.
Look around at where you live,
look at all the good you have to give.
Give a little of yourself.

Take a look at all the people everywhere
who give with open hands and hearts that do what's fair.
Can you see the blessings fall
on believers one and all
who take the time to give, and know it's right to care?

Give a little of yourself.
Cure your greed, purify your wealth.
Look around at where you live,
look at all the good you have to give
Give a little of yourself.

Humaira... all smiles.
Thank you my little brothers n sisters.

BodyShop-ping

'Never doubt that a group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world, indeed its the only thing ever does' - Body Shop

A newly converted, I'm a satisfied BodyShop customer. Well-intentioned strong community involvement (i feel nice buying as i know where the money goes to), great customized service, products from natural ingredients ... i'm in haven!!! Using it tanpa was was!

A new day starts with my journey to the toilet... i mean... my own Amazonian jungle. Surrounded by trees and fruits and exotic plants. Fresh. Rejuvenating.

The feel of Papaya essence on the skin leaves the tingling sweet smelling.. lifting up that sour mood in the morning. The torny texture of the Alovera plant fools me. The essence so mild and soft enough to cleanse my face un-burnt. Ah... How can i forget the honey! (Thanks Mr Bee) The flow of the rich and sweet fluid onto my crown.. leaving silky and shiny presence... it looks ever more invaluable. A treasure!

The Amazonian experience continues into my straw hut. My own personal abode. Buttering my skin with mango for a softer touch and delicious sensation. Oh! I have a musk plant grown at my backyard. Dab some onto my Jane costume, and voila...

i'm ready for the day @ the urban jungle.

Humaira.....Amazon Lady

Against Animal Testing
Support Community Trade
Defend Human Rights
Activate Self-Esteem
Protect Our Planet

The Silent Battle

Ever heard of the power of silence?

Its deafening.

Used that for my session yesterday.

There was me. Against the youth. Looking at each other. Daring the other to start talking.

I lost.

She was GOOD.

Or... she was tough.

She has mastered the skill to mute herself and shut herself from all the nags and accusations from THE ADULTS.

I refuse to be THE ADULT.

I let her off.

Asked if she has eaten.

Hoping to look into her welfare.

Then she opened her mouth, and said, "I'll tell you tomorrow"

*Thanks for saying that my dear. Thanks for saying*

You made me realise there's still hope.


Its time to stop talking.

Conversation with Brudder has always been enlightening.

Today's lesson:

Fight or Flight

"It is not the coward who runs away but the ungrateful challenger who thought he is strong without realising his life has been spared by the 'coward'"

"I flight, and i think of ways to fight. Then i make the move" brudder said.

Make sense.

I reflected what i've done yesterday. i FLIGHT. Before i'm hurt.

I was protective of my feelings and values and dignity. Hence, my utmost honesty. It was difficult and painful. But i did it nevertheless.

I was surprised at myself.

I was remorseful... for a while. Until my conversation with Brudder.

You're smart. Be careful. Protect yourself.

Cuz, no one will.

Ja~~~ Come back soon! Missing u!!!

Humaira... smitten, but not a victim.
And she's taking the road less travelled... "feeling lonely though =D"

The week humaira was inspired.....

Inspiration #1 - Tuesday, 24 May 2005

The book Tuesdays with Morrie was bought to commemorate her 23rd year on earth.

I'm getting older, might as well aspire to be wiser.

She thought.

And so, she read, to learn about death, and the beauty of life.

She learnt about growing old. About the beauty of age.

"Aging is not just decay. It's growth. It's more than just the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you understood you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it" Morrie said.

Hmmm... now, humaira doesnt need to hide her age =D
She's proud of the years she'd spent on earth.
She yearns to grow older. To see life. To embrace it. To cherish it.
She appreciates death.
Prepared? Not yet!
Trying to..? Yes =D

"I look back sometimes at the person i was before I rediscovered my old professor. I want to talk to that person. I want to tell him what to look out for, what mistakes to avoid. I want to tell him to be more open, to ignore the lure of advertised values, to pay attention when your loved ones are speaking, as if it were the last time you might hear them"
~Mitch Albom

Humaira wondered.

Lesson 1~If she can tell the 22-year-old Humaira what to look out for and what mistakes to avoid, life may be easier now. But hey, that's cheating. "Stand up from where i fell!" She said. "And move on!!" She screamed.

She's moving on all right.

Eh! Moving to???

Lesson 2~ LISTEN

That's when she had her third inspiration.

Inspiration #2 - Wednesday, 25 May 2005

Today... Humaira witnessed the fruits of her labour.

All the weeks of carving and shaping... playing games and processing messages...

Disclosing how disappointed and hurtful she was when her instructions were not heard...

Humaira felt like a teacher.

But, consciously telling herself, she should not.

That's the last thing the students need - to have another person shouting down their necks and telling them what to do.

She n her partner felt noble returning the power of decision-making to the students.

They were given the freedom to choose whether they want to stay in the circle.

That, alhamdulillah, broke the barrier between US and THEM.

Thanks guys for your appreciation.

The affirmation motivates Humaira to strive better for her next quest.

Thanks for the wonderful experience.

You kids, i pray for your well-being. Stay safe and trouble-free yar?

Set your goal and strive to achieve it!

Hmmm... What's HER goal and what should SHE achieve??

Humaira reflects... and reflects... and reflects...

blank

Inspiration #3 - Thursday, 26 May 2005

She continued reflecting.

She was given the OPPORTUNITY today... to voice it out.

She verbalised about being confused. Unsure. Puzzled.

Yeah yeah... having goals are important. But what kind?

Goals haf to be strategic. She thought. She wanted hers to be beneficial not only to her, but to the community as well.

How?

She talked about her experience at work. How she felt alone and drowning and depressed and she knows her ego is attacked countless of times.

What should she do?? Give her tips!!

The answer.

She has a good tool to be a good muslim (she was surprised by the answer)

Muhasabah.
Meta-analysis.
Superior state of thinking.

MasyaAllah. She thanked Allah for the affirmation.
Thanks sis for looking BEYOND me.

Manage her ego she must do. As ego is related closely with eeman.
Imagine when one stops listening.
Wonder how many errors can she make and not knowing that she's committing them?

Listen my dear.
Accept.
Be humble.

Humaira was touched.
Her soul was touched.
Her heart was touched.
Her mind was touched.

Just by the simple answer.
Ask Allah.

Her inspiration was concluded with surah al-Hadeed, verse 27 - 29

"Subsequent to them, we sent our messengers. We sent Jesus the son of Mary, and we gave him the Injeel, and we placed in the hearts of his followers kindness and mercy. But they invented hermitism which we never decreed for them. All we asked them to do was to uphold the commandments approved by GOD. But they did not uphold the messages as they should have. Consequently, we gave those who believed among them their recompense, while many of them were wicked.

O you who believe, you shall reverence GOD and believe in His messenger. He will then grant you double the reward from His mercy, endow you with light to guide you, and forgive you. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.

Thus, the followers of previous scripture should know that they have not monopolized GOD's mercy and grace, and that all grace is in GOD's hand. He bestows it upon whomever He wills. GOD is Possessor of Infinite Grace.

~Alhadeed, 27-29

Humaira...... inspired, and smiling

The fountain... I'm in ROME!!

The other 2

FigG N Olive