"What goes around, comes around. What comes up, must come down" - Alicia Keys
I believe in retribution.
Good efforts will be blessed.
Sinful ones will be punished.
Similar to Karma (Quoting Earl: 'You do good things and good things will happen to you') And i'm sure the opposite will have similar effects too.
I'm in a situation when almost everything seems wrong (No, i'm not PMS-ing). My work piling up, i'm questioning my professional limitations and my personal idealism, my unfulfilled promises, heaps of articles, anger on self resulted from a certain new information, unsatisfactory mid-term grades... and bla bla bla (depressed already).
I know matters such as heaps of workload can be structural consequence of earlier actions, such as overlooking my schedule plans.
Some... i believe... is a form of retribution. Especially when it comes to emotional torture.
And so i allow myself to experience the hurt, the grieve, the sadness, the anger, and all other negative emotions ever known to humankind.
I ALLOW. As i define these feelings as retribution.
My problem is... When will this retribution end? Forever?
How do i know this is a form of retribution in the first place?
Can i dictate my own punishment?
Isnt it Allah's will and mercy?
What's happening to my eeman?
Shouldnt i say i believe in Allah's qadha and qadar? Retribution, good or bad, depends on His mercy and just?
Allah... should i stop allowing myself to feel punished and start hoping for better outlook?
Is my taubat enough for you to accept?
Compatible enough to atone for my mistakes?
Allah...
Show me. Guide me. Protect me. Strengthen me.
Show him. Guide him. Protect him. Strengthen him.
Show them. Guide them. Protect them. Strengthen them.
Show us. Guide us. Protect us. Strengthen us.
...... as we begin with Your name, the most Gracious, most MERCIFUL.......
Humaira
Awaiting Ramadhan.... for the battle of Badr... the fight to preserve self sovereignty.
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